kaye. kaye. kaye.

2006-12-26T06:51:00.000+07:00

I'm really confused. I dont know what to do, what to say, what to act... what to feel. I'm up to this close of losing it.

Whatever did happen to us...? My mind's asking that question over and over again.

Do you still love me..? I dont feel it anymore...

You tell me you love me, but everyday I'm finding that harder to believe.

I just want to cry all day.

2006-11-13T04:22:00.000+07:00

After weeks of preparation, including a whole week consisting of two hours of sleep every day, I'm done. I'm finally done.

The layout's finished. :)

I wasn't able to do what I had in mind. There's no Adobe in the computer in the Familian Office and I can't upload one because my CD's missing. I had to start from scratch again when the deadline was nearing. I used Publisher this time, which is a lot easier than Adobe but it didn't produce the same results as the first one. I cant get the background to be right! Dang. Oh well. I have a solution for that too.

I'm back in CMM again, and there's more pressure this time. My classmates are already in pointes and they're in Advanced Jazz now. I got left behind in jazz. :( With ballet I can catch up because I'm taking doubles this sem. At least now, I'm with Karen. Yeaaah! Hahaha.

We had our first NEB meeting last Saturday at Galleria. Haha! I think the whole meeting lasted only 20 minutes?! I dont know. It was so good to see my batchmates again after Baguio. We did major catching up! Haha. We stayed in KFC for 3 hours, talking about NEB and our agenda for a few minutes, then finally everything that can be talked about! Haha. And yeahh, we rode the CRAZY BUS!! Hahaha! Love it! After acting like kids, we went to Starbucks and finalized our plans. Next meeting is probably Nov 18. That is still sketchy because Hazel's not around. But we will definitely have an overnight meeting in the office this Nov 24-25.

With YFC, I will still be active. This Saturday I have GK in the morning and a benefit concert at night. And Ate Baj says I will be her successor if she decides to leave. Oh well. Bahala nalang.

***I'm posting because I'm currently thinking about something/someone and I end up babbling about the things that affect that something/someone. ***

2006-10-22T12:54:00.000+07:00

Today a beautiful Sunday. Yet I'm not really in the mood to go out.

I dont know. The stress of the past few weeks really got me.

Take last night, for example. Jm and I were supposed to go to the Claret concert but we just stayed in his house. Then I'm supposed to go with my girls in Eastwood afterwards but I just went home.

I'm not in the mood for a lot of things.

I dont like this. I'm making everything worse. I'm supposed to be having fun.

I hate this. I hate I hate I hate.

2006-10-04T02:54:00.000+07:00

Whew. What a night.

I pulled an all-nighter guys. Jeez. Just when I was sick. Haha. Oh well.

ANNIE!! FELLOW ALL NIGHTER-ER! HAHAHA!

So there. I'm finished though. I suddenly felt the urge to write an entry here. Haha. Labo.

It's because one thing popped into my mind.

"Next year Kaye lagi ka nang ganito. Puyatan to the max."

I could not help but be overwhelmed with the feeling.

I cant believe I'll be graduating in a few months. Oh gahhhd. I'm not yet supposed to feel this nostalgic feeling. Saka na pag malapit na graduation. Haha.

Highschool was the best roller-coaster ride I ever had.

I can still remember myself as a freshman. Oh gahhhd. I was a fresh face, waiting to be slapped by reality. And boy, did I get slapped many times! Haha. First year was still the groping stage. I basically fluttered from one clique to another. Sige na, suitors na rin. HAHA! I was just ready to make a new start from everything. Ayun high grades pa ko nyan. Haha!

Next stop is sophomore year. Oh gahhhd. Drama Queen stage. Haha. Yeah yeah, I was emotional. BEFORE. Hahaha. So there. I was super busy with ballet and everything. I focused more on my studies and activities. I ignored suitors and would-be's. Haha.My anti-social self emerged in this year. I became independent. Yeah. Hahaha. Siyempre before mag-end yung year the trio was finally formed! Hahaha. And this was the time I realized I'm falling for someone. :)

Then.. JUNIORS. Haha. One of the best years of my life. Every week was gimmick week. With the girls ba naman eh. Hahaha. Super busy pa din ako, although with school. I stopped my activities halfway through the year. Suitors made a comeback. At may naging controversy! Haha. WIth PG. Kilala na yan. But I'll always stick to that one person. :)

And now... Senior year. May nightlife na ko. I made other friends, super busy pa rin and of course, I'm now with the guy I fell in love with 2 years ago. :) Gahhhd. Can anything top this? :)

I LOVE HIGHSCHOOL. GAHHHHD. CHEESSYY.

But it's true.

I'm starting to miss everything. Boo. :(

2006-10-04T01:53:00.000+07:00

So. It's been 3 weeks.

I'm thinking of taking this down. Jm and I will be having a joint blog together. Not because we're becoming too mushy for words (=P) but because we dont keep regular entries. Haha.

DLSUCET this Sunday. Argh.

UST on Oct 15 hopefully. So I can be done with the whole examination thing.

Everything's fine and lovely guys. I'm more than happy. :)

2006-09-15T20:17:00.000+07:00

I opened the computer to wait for Celine to be online. Unfortunately, my bestfriend already left for school. I'll wait for her in my YM even if takes up half of my sleeping time.

I was chatting with some friends and checking my Multiply for any messages. Then for some unknown reason, I suddenly had the urge to write an entry.

I dont know. Maybe I'm just releasing some... haha. I dont know. Feelings maybe.

The past week seems like a blur. I'm confused with some people, with some things. And lately some events and people of the past keeps on flashing on my mind. It's been pretty weird.

These made me think a lot about how I live my life.

It's evident that it's changing. I'm changing.

There's still a great lot of deal of adjusting to do. I hope the people around me will understand that.

2006-09-10T16:16:00.000+07:00

Ahoy, mate.

New updates:

>I now have bangs.
>I want to take up International Hospitality Management in Enderun
>I'm done with my UA&P exam

That's all for now. I'm too busy and lazy to update this.

Haayy..

2006-09-01T21:01:00.000+07:00

I cant take this anymore.

I'm scared. I dont know why this has to happen. Gahhhd. I cant handle this all by myself.

I'm about to break down. I'm about to give up.

If everyone just knows how much I feel like crying everytime I think about it, how I hate myself everytime I look in the mirror. I look like crap. I feel like shit.

I'm scared, guys. I'm really scared.

I'm slowly wasting away...

Tagalog time

2006-09-01T19:50:00.000+07:00

Eto ako nung August 30, 2005

Eto naman ako nung August 31, 2006. Pareho lang ang suot ko.

Ang konklusyon? Multi-talented ako. Hahaha. Joke lang.

Ang tagal ko na palang hindi nagpost. Busy eh. Wooo.

Nung Saturday ay Exposure tas party ko. Basta. May revelation akong mabigat. Haha.

Nung Sunday ay chilling time.

Nung Monday ay actual birthday ko. Pumunta akong Sta. Clara kasama si Jm. Ako'y nag-alay ng prayer para sa taon na ito.

Nung Tuesday ay practice para sa Wednesday.

Nung Wednesday ay Linggo ng Wika at Birthday ni Ikah.

Nung Thursday ay balik realidad at birthday ni Miss Japay.

Ngayong Friday ay normal day pero nagtrabaho ng kaunti para sa Familian Editorial Staff. Nagcancel pa ko ng Ipanema para lang makagawa ngayon ng pangscreening ko pero wala tinatamad ako. Naisip ko na magphone nalang kaya lang Days nga pala ngayon ni Jm kaya namimiss ko siya.

Ngayon lang ako magtatagalog dito. Namumuro na kasi ako sa kakaingles ng mga tao sa school eh. Siyeeet.

2006-08-23T21:11:00.000+07:00

I already took my special exams. It was gory. Gahhhd. :/

I was about to jump for joy for finally finishing the stressful weeks when I was brought down with a loud thud by reality. Haaay.

So here's what I would be up to in the coming weeks:

>Layout for the school paper (dang, the price I pay for being the managing editor)
>CMLI screening / TVS (if ever I pass)
>ABAP ballet show
>ACET Refresher Course
>Ateneo College Entrance Test
>Exposure and Retreat
>other application forms and entrance exams

Gahhhhd. Wish me well, friends. Hahaha.

Oh yeah, I'll be having a party this Saturday for an early celebration of my birthday. My mom wants me to celebrate even if I dont want to. Sweet sixteen daw kasi. Haha. So there. Just text me if you want to come. Ok? Ok! Haha.

2006-08-20T17:24:00.000+07:00

I just deleted my Friendster account. Again. This is the 6th time I did it. Hah.

I had 5 accounts before. Then i deleted them all. I made another one for my friends only but I got tired with it. Then Judith asked me to make a new one because she's going away. So I did. But I deleted it now.

I feel like my old self again. Bastaa. Dont ask why.

Haaay. It really feels great not to succumb myself to conformity.

Wala lang. I've been doing a lot of thinking and... I guess I changed a whole lot.

I keep having this restless feeling that I'm being sucked into this world where everyone tries to be someone. I guess I got into the hype. There's a lot of changes in me because I felt like I'm too different, that being different is a bad thing. Haay.

But I guess I got to stay true with myself.

I'm done with the cuteness.
I'm done with the popularity.
I'm done with the pretense.
I'm done with the revelations.
I'm done with being like the rest.

I want to be my old self.
I want to be near invisible again.
I want to be different.
I want to be real.
I want ME.

Haay. I dont know why I'm feeling like this. Maybe because I'm turning 16 next week.

I'm not even in the mood to celebrate. Nice noh? Haha. Wala lang. I just want a quiet birthday.

be prepared everyone. I might shut this down. Kaya YM YM nalang siguro.

With just a flick I can be invisible to everyone.

2006-08-19T19:51:00.000+07:00

Gahdnesss. I'm back. Haha.

I lost a lot of weight this week. Gahhd. Stress, man. It slowly kills me.

So anyway, I keep getting these nightmares ever since the week started. And last Thursday was the last straw. I woke up with my chest hurting and I had trouble breathing. I stood up shakily and went to my parents' room. I was dizzy and I cant see straight. Gahhhd. So it was decided that I would just rest and have a check-up. Tito Doms said my chest bone is inflamed and it's slightly piercing my heart and lungs that's why I cant breathe properly. He gave me a doctor's note and advised me to rest and eat properly.

Yeah, it's scary. But last summer pa toh. It only triggered again this week so I'm not really that bothered. Haha.

I already passed my Ateneo form! Yayness. Kevin and his friend, Erie and I went to Ateneo last Thursday to pass our forms. Haha. Makulit ako, sabi na ngang magrest umalis pa rin. Haha. It was so funny. We were the only ones on the line who were just filling the forms. Eh sa hindi pa tapos eh? Hahaha. Muntik pang hindi maprocess form ni Kevin. Haha! So there. The girl who processed my form was Person No. 18. Wooo. :) And I saw Pau! Waaw! Atenean girl na talaga!! Yehess. Haha.

Kevin and I now have a craving for pancakes and Bora. Hahaha. Bastaaa.

So yesterday was the last day of the exams and I have plans! YEAH! Haha. After school my girls and I went to KFC to eat lunch then to Bea's house to pass the time. I went to Ministop to meet Jm and we went to his house. 4th monthy na namin babeh. Haha. Haaay. I really love my genie. Bastaa. Wag na alamin. Hahaha. :)) :)) :))

So there. Jm accompanied me to Bea's afterwards. He doesnt want me to go on my own since it was already dark. Thanks genie. :x It was quarter to 7 when I reached Bea's house. We got ready for the night. Xaymaca babeh! Yeah!

Xaymaca was super fun. Wooo. It was Ariel's treat. He was with his cousin, Ben. So there. Nagpakasaya lang kami. Haha. But there are two persons who really had the best time. HAHA! :)) Basta nagpakasaya at nagpakagago lang kami. Wooooo.

Ben: Kuya, ano yung drink na sinisindihan?
Waiter: Yung Blowjob po yun.
Ben: Hindi pa yung Flaming Ferrari?
Waiter: Iba po yun, sir.
Ben: Sige isang Blowjob nga.
Kaye: Ako rin gusto kong tikman yung Blowjob.

HAHAHA. Taktee. Ang pangit pakinggan. Everyone laughed when I said it. HAHAHA.

Xaymaca was definitely rocking last night. Gahhhd. The bar was so full. It's a good thing we had seats. Woo. Badjao and Brownman Revival gave me chills. They're so good. I stood up in my seat and grooved along to the music. I didnt care. The other people didnt care either. It was just one big party. Yeah. I looove.

Time flew so fast. We didnt realize it was already 1:30 after the first set. Gahdness! I have curfew!! Waaah. I got home at around 2. Goodness. We sneaked around the house. Nalibot na namin buong bahay para lang makaabot sa kwarto ko na walang nagigising. HAHAHA. Super funny.

My body hurts like hell today. I need rest! Yeah! Hahaha.

2006-08-12T19:24:00.000+07:00

Last night was FUN.

Friday always makes me want to scream for joy. But this Friday was a little different from the others.

First of all, its been a very stressful day for the Seniors. Making the English portfolio into somewhat passable, Chapter 1 of the Research proposal, practical exams in PE and the Stat unit test were too much to take in the same time. Second, it is the end of a CRAPPY week. Deadlines of projects, hurried lessons for the exams next week, computing of grades, and all those quizzes were, in one word, HELL. Gahdd. I dont think anyone had fun this week. It's been really stressful. I myself didnt get to eat and sleep normal this week. I'll woke up at dawn to get cracking with my projects and homework. You should see the circles around my eyes and the pimples on my face. Not a pretty sight.

So I was a lot more euphoric that the week was over. Yeah, baby! And I got plans! Hahaha.

It was Ate Ira's debut last night. It was so much fun just hanging with my friends. HAHAHA. I love them. Woo. Ikah, Mim, Agpoon, Bea and Joyce were really making me laugh with their antics. Ang Ikah's cousins? Gahhd. Natatawa ako dahil ang tatahimik!! Juskooo. We (the girls) were the ones who would start with all the wackiness. HAHAHA. And napasama pala ako sa program! Hahaha. Mim and I were the proxies of Ate Ira's friends who were a no-show. My butterfly was the first one to fly. HAHAHA. The debut was very beautiful. It made me forget all the stress I coped up with.

After the debut, Bea, Joyce and I went to Xaymaca. Gahhd. I love it! Haha. Xaymaca sessions really gets me grooving. Everyone in the bar were really getting their moves. Dino was <3. Haay. Hahaha. Drinking zombies and reggae music really healed my tired mind.

I just love being with my girls, you know? I looked at all our pics and videos. Bastaa. Wag na alamin. Wooo.

2006-08-08T00:38:00.000+07:00

Love the layout? Haha. I do.

Isnt it obvious that I MISS DANCING?

I love to lose myself in a whirlwind of movements. From there, everything follows. I forget about my problems. I forget anything or anyone that bothers me. It's just me and the music, moving together to create a picture too abstract to put into sketch.

I'll contact Karen as soon as this week is over. Yeah. :))

***

Oh gahd. Hotter-than-Hell week starts now.

--~~IP proposal~~
--~~Health project~~
--~~Portfolio for English~~
--~~Physics project (Route)~~
--~~Physics project (ABCs)~~
--~~Research paper (Introduction)~~
--~~Stat project~~
--EP portfolio
--Ateneo application form
--~~Ateneo essay~~

FOR AUDREY:
SEATMATE!! My goodness! YOu got me into trouble with Ms. Pitogo. Siyeeet. Haha. It was so embarassing. She's teaching classical and I keep on raving about reggae. Hey! Dont mock me again! Hahahaha. I forgot your URL! Tag again on my board! Haha.

For -----:
I keep on thinking about it. I'm really sorry.

For ------:
Gahdd. What are you doing? Dont you know I'm really worried? Get your act together. I'm really really concerned. I've been through the same crap, you know that. I understand you. Fiiine, you can party all you want provided that you dont forget your life and the people around you. You know what I mean. And that crowd you hang with everytime you go out? I dont like them. I told you that already. Siyeet. Dont do anything stupid that will make me forget you're a friend.

For ----- (again):
Omayyy. It's still bothering me. Sorry talaga ha....

Finally. :))

2006-08-06T07:50:00.000+07:00

It's over. It's finally over.

Okay, so I got to UP around 9:45 am. The driver and my brother were with me. We were expecting heavy traffic but there was none. And parking was not allowed. So I got almost 3 hours to kill time. We went first to Chocolate Kiss and my brother treated me. Yeah! We went back after eating. I saw Barbs and my brother left when we got inside the building. We were asked to form 5 lines first and the proctors will choose the students who will be in the same classroom and again form a different line. I was chosen after a few shuffling. We went upstairs to our testing room, which is Rm 1318. I befriended my seatmate, Steph Yu, who was from ICA. The proctors gave the instructions and then the exam folder. After filling up some forms, the exam finally began. The test took about 5 hours to finish. After the exam, Steph and I talked some more and finally we were dismissed. I went downstairs and the driver was already there. Finally I went home.

It sounds so easy coming from me right? Haha. Think again.

I feel so relieved that UPCAT is done. YESSSS!! Haha. Ang dali lang kasi eh. Ang daling ibagsak. HAHA!

Wala lang. The past few days I've been having these anxiety attacks and I feel so terrified with the exam. Gahhd. Only my family and Jm knows how nervous I was. They have been my support for the past nerve-racking days. Thanks talaga. :)

EVERYONE!! THANK YOU HA?? GRABE MASAYA NA ULIT AKO!! HAHA!!

2006-08-03T19:48:00.000+07:00

UPCAT in 2 days.

I think I'm going to heave.

Just one favor, everyone. Please make me laugh. I need to calm myself.

2006-07-30T07:38:00.000+07:00

I didnt go to the Chapter Heads' Overnight last night.

I asked the upper heads if I can go home earlier because I have my refresher course in Ahead. But they want me to finish the whole activity. So it was decided that I wont go to CHO.

Ho-hum. Oh well. At least I got more time on my hands! Haha.

***

My refresher course in Ahead is today. Gahd.

Haha. I want to see KP2 again! And Mam Krizelda. Woo. I miss them so much.

I remember my review days and I couldnt stop laughing at myself. HAHAHA.

It's like this. I paid about 15 thou for 17 sessions. But I only attended 11 sessions. I was absent when I went to Davao (1 day), I had a breakdown (1 day), and when I went to Bora (4 days). And to think that in all that 11 sessions I was always late! And my seat was at the front row. Gahd. Grand entrance everytime. Haha.

Since I was always late, every head will turn to me when I open the door. And that includes our lecturer for the day. The lecturers will finish knowing everyone's name before asking me to introduce myself. And they always make me do it while facing my classmates. Hahaha! Hindi ako nahihiya, natatawa ako. Haha.

And then, I got chummy with my seatmates. Whenever I say something funny or I laugh, they would also chuckle. Eh harap nga kami diba? Kitang kita! The lecturers would always ask me what is the matter and I would just lower my head and laugh some more.

I even got some of the lecturers to laugh at my antics. Haha. They said I got cheek but it was okay. Napapasamile nalang sila. Hahaha!

The materials of the lecturers were at our table. So one time, I got it and copied the answers of the problems of the day's activity. My seatmates were shocked! They didnt expect that from me. So when I did it, they also did it! Yeah! Hahaha! We expanded up to the third row, but only selected people. Kasi yung iba, priss eh. Haha. Whenever I got the answers, my seatmates will copy mine. Then I will text the answers to Najja and my seatmates will do the same with their friends. Then their seatmates will copy them. And we were never caught! HAHAHAHA.

Kyut kami ni Najja nun eh. Every break we brought food in the classroom and wala lang. Kakain kami dun. Haha. And one time we bought popcorn and split it between us. Then we went back to the classroom skipping and chanting "Yum yum yum yum yum". Everyone was all, "Wow popcorn. Where'd you get it?" Tas natatawa sila because the popcorn smell covered the room. So lahat nagcrave. Yeah! Haha.

I guess that's why everyone was shocked when they announced that I'm top 3 in the UPCAT Diag test and top 7 in both ACET and DLSUCET. Ako rin eh, shocked! Haha. When Mam Krizelda announced ny name, everyone turned to me and said, "YESSSSSS.." Hahaha. Kilala ako? Okay! Haha.

Haay. I miss KP2 days.

2006-07-27T22:09:00.000+07:00

The most awaited entrance exam is in a week. 7 days. 168 hours. And I havent started studying properly.

I'm not that bothered though. It's not that I'm confident in passing the UPCAT. It's actually the opposite. Ever since the summer, I had this feeling that I'm going to fail it. Or even if I make it, I will need to appeal and be turned down. I guess I already prepared myself for the most possible outcome of the exam.

What I'm worried about are the reactions of the important people in my life.

A lot of people have been telling me I'm a shoo-in in UP. My family, my friends, my teachers, my batchmates. Ms. Babiera told me I'm one of the five people she strongly feels will pass the UPCAT. My friends and batchmates said I'm one of those kind of people who doesnt really study but get high grades in everything. My family is confident that I will pass, given of my scores and ranking in Ahead. Even the people I'm not really close with tells me "Huwag mo kaming kakalimutan when you're in UP na ah." Haay.

Everyone expects I will pass. This is what I hate the most. I cant just sit back and fail them. I hate seeing people feeling and looking dejected. I got to do something.

BUT... That's just it. If I will work hard, I wont be doing it for myself. Even if I give all my time in studying for the test, it's still not enough. I dont have the right drive. I dont have the passion. I dont have that desire to get it for myself.

The University of the Philippines is the most prestigious and prominent university of the country. Only the topnotchers are qualified in studying there. It has been my dream university ever since I learned to read and write. Everything I did for the past 10 years, I did it to have an edge in UP. It has been my goal, my key for a succesful future.

As I grew up, I also realized the non-academic perks of being an Iska. I'll get to be with different kinds of people with different backgrounds and cultures, all thinking in the same wavelength. Not only will my mind benefit but also my personality. I will be molded into a person capable of making a change in the society.

And my network of people? I will definitely increase. I'll be a part of the elite circle of the university, where the majoriy of the students came from provinces and public schools. I'll be rubbing elbows with very important people, people that can help me. People who can make my future brighter.

These things can help contribute in my development. These can bring out the best in me. It's a no-brainer to say UP is my yellow brick road, my passage to enter the emerald pastures.

I hate to admit what I'm going to say next. But it's the truth.

Maybe I've been trying to live a dream. A dream where everything falls into places. Where nothing goes wrong. A dream so wonderful that it blinded me from the harsh reality.

But I already woken up. It's time to leave the dream behind and prepare for reality to set in.

I guess this is my way of saying I dont want UP as my university anymore.

2006-07-25T18:05:00.000+07:00

The queen is back, everyone. Cheers! Haha.

Singapore was fun, but very very exhausting. Gahd. I didnt had a chance to rest, let alone do some work. We were so busy from the hour we arrived up to the time we went back home. I wont tell everything here, unless we're close. HAHAHA! But watch out for my multiply. I might be uploading this week.

Gahd. I'm so tired. This weekend alone put some years on my face.

I definitely need to rest. 2 more weeks, Kaye. 2 more weeks. Off to the spa I go.

What else is there..?

School's been keeping me busy. Much as I would like to go out, I cant. I need to work on my academics first. That's why I cant wait for the term to finish. I got a line up of my gimmicks! Hahaha.

--Prince of Jaipur/Embassy with Chesca
--Tagaytay with my girls and a couple of friends
--Ikah's sister's debut
--Galilee's reunion
--party with Vero and Co.
--date with PK
--spending time with my genie. :)

That's all for now. But I'm still arranging this gathering with my old gradeschool friends. I miss them. Woo. Haha. If it pushes through it's another one for my line up.

Next weekend I'm off for the Chapter Heads' Overnight and Refresher Course in Ahead. Then a week after that, UPCAT na. After the UPCAT, exams. Finally I can relax!

Whew! Let the hell weeks be over, Lord.

Smooth sailing everyone. :)

2006-07-20T21:30:00.000+07:00

Just got home from our EOP.

Dang. Mt. Samat didnt exactly fit my expectations. It's nice but nothing beats Mt. Banahaw! Woo. EOP ulit! EOP ulit! Haha.

Bonding with my classmates and batchmates was so much fun! We have so many pics! GRABE. Everyone was just clicking away. (and that's because that's the only thing you can do there. Hahahahaha.)

San Jose was super duper loud! Yeah! I'm seatmates with Mim and Tardy. We sat at the back of the bus! More room for us! Yeah!!! Hahaha! Our group at the back was the noisiest in our class. GRABE. Sila Lianie and Denise walang patawad! Haha.

Mim and I were so crazy with everything. We shared our food, and everyone was just asking for our snacks. Merits for us! Yayness. Haha. Bastaa. There's still a lot of things. We're so weird. I cant elaborate everything. Hahaha! Basta kasi yung SPOON eh! Wooooooo.

So what's going to happen tomorrow?

While the rest of my batchmates are going back to school I'll be off to Singapore. Woohoo! But I don't think I can relax there. I have so many projects and reports due next week. I'll be bringing the laptop along so I can do my work. If the hotel has Internet connection I'll see you on my YM list. Yeah!

Pics on my multiply soon. :)

The phone's ringing. It's probably Jm.

Bye everyone! Smooches! :x

2006-07-18T20:10:00.000+07:00

Today is July 18. Haha. Special day. :)

I cant believe we're only on our third month. It feels like we've been together for years. Haha!

That's what we felt last Saturday. We were together for 12 hours! Yeah! He fetched me at Mcdo Mat and we went to his house to watch movies. Then we proceeded to Claret for the High School High and our last stop was the party of Ivy's sister. It was so much fun having my genie at my side for the whole day. It was pure bliss. :)

So now I'm missing him to bits. Boo. Because last Saturday it was like time stood still. And now, I cant even lay my eyes on him until my exam in August! Argh. I hate this. I wish the date for the UPCAT would hurry up. Hah.

Oh yeah, I got my UPCAT test permit. My exam date is August 5 at 12:30. My venue is Institute of Chemistry. So if anyone has the same schedule, let me know. Bonding tayo after the exam. Haha!

I also got my Ateneo application form. Deadline is in 2 weeks and I'm still undecided on everything. I might take up any of the Humanities or Social Studies subjects.

So there. I'm getting tired to continue this. Haha.

2006-07-10T13:17:00.000+07:00

There's so many things I can talk about yet all I can think about is my genie. Haha.

Maybe because we just finished this thing about us. Yeah, that's it.

I wont broadcast the whole thing here. It's too much. It's too private.

What I just want to say to everyone is that I love my genie very much and I feel like a real mess for hurting him. It's not actually my fault. But then, I still have a part in that thing even if I was not really aware at that time so I still feel responsible.

For that other person, this changes a lot of things. For one, I trusted you. We were friends, partners. I dont know what went into your mind when you did that. Maybe it was extreme drowsiness. But still... you should have known better. I dont know if I can still go to a YFC meeting/gathering without feeling uncomfortable. I know that I shouldnt be thinking too much about it. But because of what you did, my genie cried. You shook our relationship. And that's more than what I could bear.

I feel like I've been betrayed again...

2006-07-02T13:42:00.000+07:00

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:

I changed my number last week. My bill was.. uhh.. excessively high. Haha. :P I'm using a prepaid for the meantime. I'll get my line after a few months. Woo. Just IM me if ever you want to know my number (if you're my friend or if we know each other). kaa_08

Then yesterday my bottle of water spilled inside my ballet bag. Badtrip. My extra clothes got wet and my cellphone was practically swimming. Shet. My phone's not working but I hope I can still get it fixed. I lost all my contacts so if you will text me please put your name. Thanks.

Right now I'm using my old phone. I still have a whole 2 weeks to wait for my new phone, the one Kuya bought for me. Yay. Haha.

I'm thinking of selling my 2 phones if the new one arrives. Any takers?

That's all for now. Keep the lines open, people. :)

2006-06-30T20:29:00.000+07:00

Oh gahd. It's been ages.

School, preparing for the CEEs, ballet and jazz classes, YFC, my friends, and Jm are keeping me busy these past few weeks. Gahd. I have so many commitments. And I'm loving every moment of it! Yeah! Haha.

So anyway everything finally took a toll on my body. And now I'm sick. Boo. :(

It's been a whole week now. Double boo. :((

I havent missed any classes though, except for the half-day I took last Friday. But I've been missing out on my friends and dance classes. And YFC! Dang. And especially on Jm. Boo boo boo. But we had an agreement. We'll just see each other after the UPCAT. I cant wait. Yay.

So there. I dont know when will I blog again. I'm really busy guys. Haha.

Oh yeah, I now have proof that many people know/visit my blog. I'm a little shocked about it. I thought no one knows about this. Haha. So there. That's why I thought of updating this. Bear with me people.

Toodles, everyone.

2006-06-10T21:30:00.000+07:00

I'm sitting in front of the computer while the Tokyo Project is going on. Hah. Lazy girl.

I just dont feel like going out tonight. I didnt even went out today. There was no driver around to drop me at Ahead for the remedial class. And I'm not in the mood to commute. Haay. I just slept the whole day and didnt get out of the pigsty that is my room.

So when Leo texted me about the Bonnie Bailey concert/party, I just know I'll say no. Nothing and no one makes me want to go out today, except maybe spending time with Jm. Hah. I miss him already. We only saw each other yesterday but I miss him to bits. Aaww. Haha. :)

So anyway, I got the whole day to sleep and contemplate my UP application form and CMM classes.

I still havent filled out my UP form. Deadline is in two weeks but I'm still undecided on the campus. Which means I'm still undecided on my course. Gahd. This is so hard.

First choice of campus will be UP Diliman. First choice of course is BS Industrial Engineering and second choice is BS Economics. I'm okay on that part. What I'm confused at is my second choice of campus.

I mean, let's face it. The competition for UP Diliman will be so high. My chances of passing are slim. And my course is a quota course. So if ever I did pass UP, I will be admitted on my second choice of campus.

I'm deciding between UP Manila or UP Los Banos.

I really dont like UP Manila. It maybe the country's excellence when it comes to health sciences but I just dont see myself studying Medicine. Gahd. I hate blood, everyone knows that. I practically squirm during movies when there's blood involved. I can handle getting hurt and excruciating pain. But if I see just a tiny speck of red, I just know I'll faint. Waah.

So if ever I do put in UP Manila as my second choice, my first and second choice of course will be BS Biology and D Dental Medicine.

But UP Manila has a higher cut-off than UP Diliman. So if I dont pass Diliman I will not surely pass for Manila. Haha.

That's why I'm thinking of UP Los Banos. BS IE and BS Econ are also there, so I can take them. Then after a year I can move to UP Diliman provided I have the units and average needed. Besides, Ate Ruby will be there so I atleast know someone. And I'll be living on my own, which means I will be totally independent.

But a year is a loooooong time. I will definitely miss my family. And I will learn how to do household chores. It's not that I dont like to learn, it's just I'm not used to it. I dont even know how to turn our microwave on! How am I supposed to survive in Los Banos? Gahd.

What about my friends? How can we go out? What about my social life? Are there any gimmick places in Los Banos? Gahhhd. And what about Jm? I cant just leave him here. Waaah.

I'm really confused. Hopefully by the weekend I can fill this up. I needed to get my transcripts this week so I can finally pass my form. Haayy.

And now on my CMM classes.

I'm already enrolled but I'm having second thoughts. Karen told me she cant attend. Waaah. How could she? Waaah.

Dont get me wrong. I miss the people. I miss getting worked up every week. I miss the recitals. I miss the shows. I miss getting yelled at. And I especially miss DANCING. Gahd. It's been ages since my last proper performance. I definitely miss the adrenaline rush I get whenever I'm dancing.

But I needed someone I can get along with in Ballet and Jazz. Especially now that I'll be with a different set of people for the first sem. I need to earn my pointes so I can be with my friends again. But it wont be the same without Karen around.

We have been each other's support whenever Teacher Bubbles scolds us. We just laughed it off and try harder. But now, just the thought of facing it alone terrifies me. I might break down and not do well. Gahd.

I need to convince her to enroll again. Even if it's just ballet. Erika and Ella are still in jazz so I can still have a good time during class. Haay.

I still have a week to decide whether I'm continuing or not.

Goodluck, self.

2006-06-08T21:15:00.000+07:00

Oh gahd. Back to school again everyone. Deym.

I havent had enough sleep for the past few days. My dad's birthday last Tuesday kept me up all night. I slept at around 3. Grr. Oh well, the fireworks were AWESOME! And the party was rad! I got to hang out with YFC friends and my cousins. Wooo. Love it love it LOVE IT! Belated happy birthday again to my dad! I love you!! :x

So anyway, I'm now back on school! Argh. I'm not yet ready. I havent bought any school supplies yet. Haha. Yesterday was the first day. Gahh.

So anyway, first day was okay. I was glad to see some of my friends again, especially HITBU!! Gaaahh. I didnt get to bond with them as often as I would have wanted this summer because we were all busy. But now.. the girls are back in town! The girls are back in town! Hahaha.

There wasnt much screaming and hugging in the fourth year level. We all saw each other last summer. Haha! Katipunan girls, one big happy family. Haha. :P

There were so much changes in the school. One of these is BEC. Argh. I HATE IT. Nuff said. I really hate it. Grr. Say NO to the administration! Haha.

I'm getting lazy to type. Haha. So bear with me people. Woo.

Oh yeah, if someone asks me one more time if I'm wearing make-up, I'm going to heave. I'll make it clear to everyone: I DONT PUT ANYTHING ON MY FACE DURING SCHOOL HOURS. Hah.

2006-06-04T11:31:00.000+07:00

Today I woke up feeling now quite right.
I went to my bathroom.
I looked at the mirror.
There were tear stains on my cheeks.
There were dark bags under my eyes.
Huh. I dont even remember crying.
For some kind of reason, I cant look myself in the eye.
I dont like what I'm seeing.
I went back to my room.
Laid down on my bed. Pulled my covers.
And stared really hard at the ceiling.
I dont know how long I did that.
I brushed away a couple of stray tears.
They felt too hot on my cheeks.
I hugged my pillow and Bompy.
I dont feel comforted.
I felt cold.
I stood up and switched of the aircon.
i wrapped my blanket tighter around me.
Nothing seems to work.
I still feel cold.
I laid my head on my pillow.
Tears slid down on my cheeks.
This time, I didnt brush them away.
The hotness of my tears warmed me a little.
But I still feel cold. Cold and hollow.

Crying is good.
Especially unintentional crying.

2006-05-28T14:13:00.000+07:00

list 21 people who are at the top of your head right now, and then answer the questions.

1. jm
2. celine
3. dyvi
4. bea
5. joyce
6. kevin
7. ate gold
8. ate krystle
9. kuya les
10. kuya cocoi
11. ate harms
12. ate baj
13. ate jk
14. ate odille
15. gino
16. celina
17. cathy
18. nico
19. macky
20. ivy
21. agpoon

how did you meet 12?
Team head last year nung camp ko. Tas pagpumupunta akong yfc meetings eto lagi kong kasama. At ngaun ay dakilang chapter head na!

what would you do if you never met 6?
Siguro hindi ako mababalian ng buto dati. Hahahaha. Peace tayo Kevin.

what would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
HAHAHAHA!!! Pwede!!!

did you ever like 11?
Of course. Ate harm's like family na.

would 4 and 13 make a good couple?
Hahahaha. They are both girls. Pero... secret! Hahaha. Hindi na ko magsasalita.

describe 8.
My wonderful sister. :)

do you think 14 is attractive?
Yehes. GG!!

tell me something humiliating about 17.
Uuhh. She has a crush on .... before. HAHA!

do you know any of 4's family members?
ONAMAN! Si Dang na mahilig kumanta, si Marga na mataray at si Louie na mahilig sa ice cream. At si BIG NOSE! Wag na ung iba. Madami eh. Haha!

what's 21's favorite color?
Black, Pink and Blue. Yeah yeah yeah!

on a scale of 1-10, how hot is 10?
Dahil kuya ko siya 10 syempre! Pero sooo think and sooo fat pa din! Haha!

what would you do if 18 confesses he likes you?
I will laugh! Kilala ko sa kanya eh! Tugsh!

what language does 20 speak?
Tagalog. Buscopan language.

what grade is 16 in?
Incoming 3rd yr Highschool.

when's the last time you talked to 13?
Nung party ng YFC dito sa bahay. Last Wednesday. Hah.

what is 2's favorite band/singers?
Sarili niya! Hahaha!

would you ever date 5?
Haha! No way! Baduy! Haha!

would you ever date 1?
Yes. Kung pwede lang everyday eh. Hahaha.

what is 19's last name?
Cabasal.

what school does 7 go to?
UST. Dati OLGM nung Highschool pa siya. Dapat Povedan girls kami but fortunately hindi natuloy. Haha!

where does 15 live?
Jusko. Napakalapit lang samin. Isang street bago samin. Haha.

are number 7 & 8 best friends?
Cousins. Haha.

do you like 6?
Ok lang. PAg makulit siya hindi. Haha!

WHO IS THE COOLEST AMONG ALL OF THEM
JM!!! Hahaha!! De lahat kaya! =P

2006-05-28T10:33:00.000+07:00

I woke up early this morning.

For some reason I went online.

I was ready to log out when I saw someone went online.

CELINE!!!!!! Waaahh. My bestest bestfriend. :x

I missed her sooooo much!! Waaaahh!! Hahaha.

Wala lang. I feel so sad, knowing we're oceans apart. :(

Haay, I'm getting teary-eyed again. I'll continue this next time.

2006-05-27T22:58:00.000+07:00

I've been feeling...restless.

Just this morning I woke up feeling not quite right. And I dont mean by the chest pains and heavy breathings I keep experiencing nowadays. I dont know. I guess I've been under a lot of stress lately. I cant keep up with everything that's happening around me.

I want to stop my little world and just get off. I'm tired. So so tired. I have too many commitments. I dont know what to do now. It's like instead of having control of everything, I'm being sucked into this world where I dont have any control to break free. I dont know what to hold on and what to let go. I'm so confused.

As I await the start of another school year, I'm feeling mixed emotions. I cant wait to start my senior year, my last year before heading off to college. But I still doubt my capabilities if I can really assume all the responsibilities I have. I'm afraid that it will affect my relationship with everyone, especially with God.

I'm thankful that God has blessed me so much. But I'm overwhelmed with everything. I dont know if I can do everything God has given me. I need strength from Him. I cant do everything alone.

I feel that everything's too much. I can hardly breathe. I can hardly think. I dont know what to do.

I just want my senior year to be MY year. I just want to enjoy it to the fullest. But now, the things that used to make me smile now feels like a burden.

2006-05-20T22:56:00.000+07:00

One second can change everything and affect a lot of people in the process.

"Thanks for all your prayers. My one and only brother lived an extraordinary life. Now, he's in peace with the Lord. Hope you can make it in his wake in Claret School Parish in Teacher's Village starting tonight. Let's continue to pray for this one of a kind man. God Bless to all!" -Tin Mate

Life is really too short. With just a blink of the eye everything can be taken away from you.

Please pray for Andrew Mate's soul and his family.

2006-05-17T23:10:00.000+07:00

Ever felt that feeling that you're contented with everything you have? That you dont have anything more to ask for? That you're truly blessed with everything?

I did. And still do. Ever since Jm came into my life. :)

*After an hour, it will be a whole month since we became official. I know it's still a short time but I cant help but be really thankful that we're finally together. I know we still have a lot to learn, we still have a lot to discover about ourselves. And I'm quite excited with it. I'm happy that I'm growing with you as a person. Even if time turns back, I wouldnt choose any other person to be with. I'd still choose you.

My choice to wait for you was the greatest decision I ever made. I love you so much.

I cant wait for the months and years to come. Like you said yesterday, "one down, a lifetime more to go."

I love you I love you I love you. :X :X :X*

2006-05-12T19:44:00.000+07:00

Syet. I'm sick.

In the middle of summer.

Argh. I guess it's ok then. Because the rainy season's starting.

So what happened to me the past two weeks??

Well, I've been to BORACAY babeh! YEAH! It doesnt matter that I missed a couple days in my review centers. It doesnt matter that make-up classes in Ahead cost a thousand bucks. It doesnt matter that I didnt see my TLC friends. Because the only thing that matters (at that time) wass I'm going to the beach!!! YEAAAHHHH!!!! NASTEH!

There's only one pimple of that great trip: missing Jm terribly.

Anyway. Bora was HOT. As in sizzling hot. Haha. There were a few minor setbacks when we got there but everything turned out well. Yeah!! Haha.

Calling all sun worshippers. All Hail the Great Sun. Hahaha.

I got back with my way way hot tanline and way way hotter hennas. Yeah!

They're starting to fade, though.

Anyway, enough about Bora. (You thought I'll give all the details? Nah. Haha. You have to be my super close close friend before I say anything to you.)

Ahead days are finally over. Aaww. I'm going to miss KP2. And Mam Krizelda. Aaww. Aaww. I'm going to miss my classmates, even if I'm only close to some of them.

TLC is a different story. Haha. Dont tell my parents but I've been missing classes. Actually I missed two weeks' worth of classes. HAHA. I'm bored, you know. And there's no fee in make-up classes so I dont bother turning up for class. Haha.

I guess that's why I got sick. Karma knows how to get back at you.

So now I'm stuck at home where I should be in Xaymaca jamming with my girls. Deym.

Oh well. Tomorrow is freedom day! Yeah! I'm itching to go out. I'm not used in staying indoors.

Ciao, everyone! :P

2006-04-30T16:23:00.000+07:00

Oh my gawd. My blog has accumulated enough dust to last for a thousand years.

*cough cough sneeze*

Things got so crazy I havent got the time and energy (and Internet connection) to update my blog. So if anyone's reading this, forgive me.

I love YFC-ILC in DAVAO!!!!!!! Hahaha!! It was definitely an experience I would never ever forget!!

After Davao, I went to Ilocos with my siblings. It was total relaxation for me, preparing myself for *gah!* review classes. Haha.

I had a hard time adjusting in my review centers, particularly in TLC. It wasnt because of the people. They're pretty nice actually, especially my classmates. I'm friends with everyone. It's just that I got shocked with the lessons and lectures to the point that I wanted to quit. Bastaa. It's my little secret. Hahaha.

In Ahead.. uhmm let's just say I suprised myself. Haha. I still dont have many friends there unlike with TLC but the lessons are okay. I can manage. Haha.

Oh yeah, we had our YFC camp last April 21-23. I was Assistant Team Head,which I still cant believe. Haha. It was my first time to serve in camp and it was sooo exhausting! I didnt sleep the whole camp. I was always on the move. And it was soo memorable because.... secret. Hahaha.

I've been hanging out with my friends too. Syempre noh. Anu ba. Haha. I miss my girls, even if I'm with them every single moment I'm free. Just last Friday we went to Xaymaca and it was wild! Haha. There were so many Rasta peeps and the whole bar was just...shaking. Haha. I love reggae forever!

I'm frequenting Eastwood, Timog and Katipunan. So if ever you see me, just holler!

Smooches everyone! :X

P.S. Oh yeah. April 18 was a special day. Hahahaha.

2006-04-05T18:32:00.000+07:00

Tagalog muna ngayon ah. Nakikigamit lang kasi ako ng computer eh. Haha.

Nagrreklamo si Patricia bakit hindi daw siya special mention. O ayan na. Iibahin ko na yung last post ko. Haha

Nung Sabado ay nagkita kami ni Jm. Haha. Ayun. Masaya ako (malamang) at basta hindi ko makakalimutan ang araw na iyon! Dahil. Basta. Haha. Pati kasi ako hindi makapaniwala. Hahaha. Yeboi. Sige tigil na ko. Baka madulas pa ko. Hahahaha.

Ayun pala. Kinita din namin si Patricia. Hinatid niya ko sa DASC at hinintay namin ng NAPAKATAGAL si Patricia. Ayun. Wala lang. Usap usap. Pagkatapos nun ay umuwi na kami ni Patricia at nakikain samin ng ice cream. Mainit daw kasi. Ginulo pala niya ang kwarto ko. Haha.

Nung Sunday naman ay nanood kami ni Patricia ng NCC. Muntikan na nga ko ma-late eh. Haha. Tapos ayun. Nasa Araneta pala si ------. Yak. Haha. Takte tinetext pa ko. Pucha siya. Eeww. Kala naman niya.. Haha. Siyet "heartless bitch" na naman ako. Haha.

Andun din pala si Jm. Haha. Gulat ako. Kala ko kasi hindi talaga siya pupunta. Nasuprised ako. Hanep! Haha. Ahmm. Ayun. Pareho kaming naka-brown. Astig na hindi. Kasi feeling namin iniisip ng mga tao ang baduy namin dahil color-coordinated kami. Haha. Pero di namin pinagusapan yun ah. Haha.

Nagbonding kami ni Patricia! Yeah! Una muna ay nakisawsaw kami kina Chips manood ng Just Friends. Kaya nga I~swear! By the moon and the stars in the sky! Haha. Tapos kami ay umalis na at bumili ng gift ni Lily. Kasama namin si Jm. Pero umalis na din siya. Aww. Haha. Nag-Timezone kami. Kumanta ako. Haha. Nag-games kami (malamang) at may nangyrai kay Patricia! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Tapos nun ay nagFiesta Carnival kami. Hanep! Haha. NagViking kami. Ayaw tumingin ni Patricia sa ibaba! Ako naman sigaw lang ng sigaw! Hahaha. Saya sobra. Pero pagbaba namin may nakakabastos lang. Basta. Punyeta. Wooo

Pagkatapos nun umuwi na kami. Nagdrama nanay ko sa text. Di daw ako sumama ng Tagaytay. Haha. Juskoo naman. Ayun. Pinapunta namin sa Lily sa bahay. Graduate na siya!! Yehes! Haha. Nurse na! Hanep! Ay mageexam pa pala. Sorry na. Haha. Binigay na namin ang gift niya. Tuwang tuwa akalain nyo? Haha. Pinaghirapan namin yung gift ah. Nawalan pa kami ng kahihiyan. Hahaha.

Ayun. Uwian time. Si Patricia gusto matulog sa bahay. Kaya lang may pasok ako. Hahaha.

Nung Lunes, siyet first day ko sa Ahead. Demmer. Takte naman. Ako ay nakipagkita muna kina Najja at Jasten. Woo. Nagbalik na ang iniidolo kong magboypren. Haha. Pinakain ako nila Nanay Naj at Lolo Jasten sa Red Ribbon. Pero ako pinagbayad. Haha. Ayun. Late kami ni Najja. Yehey! Hahaha. KP2 pala seksyon namin. Juskoo. Basta. Medyo di ata namin makakasundo yung mga klasmeyts namin eh. Hahaha.

Boring first day. Isa lang natutunan ko. Tamad ang Ahead. Haha.

Kahapon naman. Juskoo. Nagalit ako kay Papa. Paano ba naman kasi hindi na nakuntento sa grades ko. Mataas na siya compared sa grades ng iba. Puro line of 9 ako. 3 lang ata line of 8 ko. Pero hindi pinansin 95 ko. Pinagdiinan yung 85 ko. Puta. Badtrip. Nyeta. Naiinis na naman ako!!!!!!!!

Pati eto pa ayaw pa ata ako magsaya. Siyet naman. Ayaw ako pagamitin ng mga pangcommunicate sa mga tao tao. Alam nyo na un. Ang dami kaya tinatamad ako itype lahat. Tas pinagrreview ako sa 4 na review center. Punyeta. Siyet. Di na kaya mapagod utak ko? Taragis.

Ayun. Late na naman ako sa Ahead. Takte. NagUPCAT Diag Exam kami. Hirap. Siyet. Shatgan ako. Hahaha.

Pumunta ako kina Joyce. Nakibonding sa masayang bahay nila dahil naiinis pa rin ako. Nakigulo ako sa kanila. SI Yza kasi eh. Haha. Basta. HAHAHAHA!!

Pagkatapos ay YFC meeting na. Bonding with Ate Jk. Yeah! Haha. Pinagusapan lang namin yung sa Davao. Ayun. Excited na ko!! Haha. Magmamatching kami ni Ate Jk. Yeah! At eto pa pala! Ka-YFC ko pala yung bestfriend ko nung K2! Oh db?!?! Small world! Kahapon lang kami nagkaalaman. Hahaha!!

Nagyon naman. Pinuntahan ako ni Patricia ng umaga. Nagwrestling kami at nagkilitian. Tas ayun. Bonding. Hanep! Haha. May sex scandal video na ko. Siya kasi eh. Deymmm. Hahaha. Pero funny yun ah. Hahahaha.

At tulad ng mga nakaraang mga araw, late parin ako sa Ahead. Ayos! Hahaha. ACET Diag Exam naman. Shatgan paren boi. Haha. Yeah.

NagMcdo kami after ni Najja. Bonding. Kwento. Parang nung second year ulit kami. Haha. Bespren! Hahaha.

Ayun. Uwi na. Sinuprise si Patricia sa bahay nila. Hahaha. At ngayon nakikigamit lang ako sknila. Hahahaha.

Sige yun lang. babay!

2006-04-02T19:44:00.000+07:00

My weekend has been.....perfect. :)

Smooches, everyone. :x

2006-03-31T16:33:00.000+07:00

HAHA. Wala lang.

I'm just... happy. :)

Saya ng buhay, pre!

2006-03-26T00:28:00.000+07:00

I'm waiting for my brother to pick up his girlfriend. After that we're off to Bulacan.

I finally got that feeling that it's summer already. Yeah! :)

I now have a tanline! Hahaha. With all the excessive swimming I've been doing this past week my brown complexion turned... browner! Hahaha! Living in a country were skin-whitening products are a must-have, I can proudly say I LOVE GETTING DARK!! I love the beach and just lying in the sand. I'm a sun-worshipper. Hahaha.

Swimming with my Buscopans --- check (last Wednesday)
Swimming with 3-Galilee --- check (last Friday)
Davao --- April 6-April 12 babeh!
Tagaytay with my girls --- not yet sure with the date. Hah.
Ilocos/Pagudpod with my girls --- ditto.
Boracay with family --- if our trip to the States wont push through

I've been out and about this week. And it's still the first week of our vacation! Argghh. I need to take a breather. As much as I like going out with friends, I seriously need some Me time before April comes. Haha.

Plans for this week:
-Inquire in Ahead and TLC (yeah, I have 2 review centers. Screw them.)
-Ortho and derma appointments (I need to go so I can go out with my girls)
-Watch the graduation of the fourth year students. (aaawwww)
-Meet up with my friends (anyone! as long as we're friends. Haha)
-Meet up with Jm :)
-Celebrate Ivy's birthday (Agpoon and I have a suprise for her. Tee hee.)
-NCC with Patricia (date! date!)

Currently loving myself.
Currently loving someone.
Currently loving life. <3

Cheers, everyone! ;)

2006-03-25T17:28:00.000+07:00

I'm starting to hate multiply. Grrrrrr

Too lazy to continue typing.

2006-03-24T19:43:00.000+07:00

This is interesting. Hahahaha.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Kaye!

The deepest part of Kaye is over 35,000 feet deep.
The risk of being struck by Kaye is one occurence every 9,300 years.
Grapes explode if you put them inside Kaye.
Lightning strikes Kaye over seven times every hour.
It took Kaye 22 years to build the Taj Mahal!
You should always store Kaye in an airtight container in the fridge.
In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, Kaye is the victim.
If you chew gum while peeling Kaye then it will stop you from crying!
Kaye is the sacred animal of Thailand!
A lump of Kaye the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court!

One more time! HAHAHAHA!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Kathlyn!

Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Kathlyn!
Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using Kathlyn!
99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Kathlyn.
Kathlynicide is the killing of Kathlyn.
Antarctica is the only continent without Kathlyn!
Forty percent of the world's almonds and twenty percent of the world's peanuts are used in the manufacture of Kathlyn!
Astronauts get taller when they are in Kathlyn.
Koalas sleep for 22 hours a day, two hours more than Kathlyn!
Kathlyn can fly at an average speed of fifteen kilometres an hour!
Kathlyn was first grown in America by the grandmother Maria Ann Smith, from whom her name comes.

2006-03-22T22:08:00.000+07:00

Nasa mood ako magtagalog. Hindi kasi nagffunction utak ko na mag-isip ng salitang Ingles. O talagang sadyang tamad ako ngayon. Tss. Lagi naman eh. HAHA!

Ayun. Masaya ang SULONG para sakin. Dahil kasama ko si Ate Ruby my honeybabes. Haha. Ang dami naming nagoyong mga tao! HAHAHA!! Grabe almost sa buong SULONG kasama ko puro 4th year. Sabi nga ni Ate Haneka nakalimutan na niyang 3rd year pa pala ako. Akalain mo nga naman. Haha.

Grabe nung Closing Ceremonies. Buong program nakahawak lang ako sa cable para hindi mamatay yung laptop. Nakakatawa itsura ko sobra! Tinatawanan ako nila Ate Ana at Ate Darlene. Haha. Pero oks lang. Harap na harap naman ako nung ceremony. Nakakaiyak ang pagbababay ng SC 2k5-2k6. Pero masaya ako sa bagong SC. Yeah!! El presidente si Jilian! Ow kamon!! Hahaha.

Ok lang ang concert sa school. Galing ng UpDharmaDown. Sila nga lang ang pinanood ko eh. After nun, wala na nagliwaliw na ko sa school. Tumugtog pala si Gian, yung ka-YFC kong alumni. Hindi ko man lang alam. Haha. Madami akong ka-YFC na pumunta. Siyempre si Ate JK at Gino invited ko. May sikreto nga kaming tatlo diba? HAHAHA.

Dumating din si Joseph. Kasama niya prendly prends niya. Haha. Nagstay lang kami sa lobby. Juskoo, napakadaming tao sa covered stage at quad! Eh naiinis pa naman ako pag ganun. Haha. Binigay ni Joseph yung gifts niya sakin. Si Sampy at yung patok na belly button brush. HAHA! Patok na patok talaga yung brush sakin! Woooo. Ang bait talaga ni JM, siya yung may birthday ako binigyan niya ng gift. Thank you ulet!! Ayun. Hinintay niya ko makauwi. Bait talaga. Hanep!

Nung Sunday naman, napilitan akong magising ng maaga dahil my cluster meeting kami ng YFC sa Circle. Nakihitch ako kina Tito Oskee. Siyempre sharing kami ni Ate JK about sa mga nangyari noong nakaraang gabi. Wahaha. Konti lang kaming dumalo sa meeting. Puro mga heads lang ata eh. Pero ako member lang ah! Nakisawsaw lang ako. Haha. Bonding ako with Ate JK, Ate Baj at Gino. Ang kulet namin nung icebreaker! Hahaha. Nagtalk na si Kuya Vino. Bagong bago! jokee. Haha. Tinatanong niya sino daw samin kinikilig. Tingin naman sakin si Gino. Haha. Lokoo. Basta about kinikilig kay God yung topic. Ayun. Sharing sharing. Dapat group 3 ako siyempre pasaway ako nakisawsaw ako kina Ate JK. Hahaha. Hindi na about dun napag-usapan namin. About na sa Davao at sa mga pangyayari sa aming mga buhay. Haha. Kumain na kami at umuwi na. Dapat pupunta akong Bulacan kasama si Papa pero nakatulog ako. Hahaha!

Monday na, ako'y nagising at nagbum sa bahay. Nagpaalam ako kay Papa sa lahat ng lakad ko ngayong linggo. Buti't pumayag siya. May lakad ako that day. Birthday ni JM mangbblowout siya sa Gateway! Yeah! Haha. Sinama ko sila Bea at Joyce. Eh di ayun. Pumunta na kaming Gateway. Nung papunta na kaming food court para kumain bigla naming nakita si Camille Tajon! Hahaha! Pinakilala kami kay Majo. Tas nag-aya ba namang magpapicture! Aba aba! Haha! Ok talaga si Camille laughtrip! Namiss ko rin yung loka na yun. Haay naku. Iniwan na namin sila at pumunta na kami kina JM.

Nakakatawa sa Teriyaki Boy. Pinagtripan namin nila Bea yung babae sa labas. Haha. Bad. Ayun. Ang daming bading sa TB. Almost ata lahat ng ngsserve dun eh. Natatawa tuloy kami nila JM. Hanep nga makatingin yung mga bading kay JM. Yikeee. Haha. Hanep the accent! Ow kamon! Hahaha. Binilisan na naming kumain at umalis na kami para sunduin si Jay sa Fully Booked.

Ang bilis ng mga pangyayari. Bigla na lang kami naiwan ni JM. Kasama nila Joyce sila Martin. Kumain si Jay at sinamahan siya nila Chips. Eh di ayun bumili kami ng tickets at naglibot. Tas nasuprise ako. Haha. Basta. Wag nyo na intindihin. :P

Dumating na lahat ng katauhan. Pumasok na kami sa sinehan. Juskooo, wala ring kwenta ung pareserve reserve ng seats. May nakaupo na sa seat namin. Napunta kami ni JM sa likod. Ayun. V for Vendetta pala pinanood namin. Pero di ko gets yung storya. Late na kami nakapasok, nagsimula na yung movie. Kaya ayun. Wooo. Pero dragging yung movie. Pero ok lang, masaya naman ako. Haha! Isa pa sa mga wag nyong intindihin. :)

Pagkatapos ay bumaba na kami. Kala kasi namin bukas pa yung Fiesta Carnival. Hindi na pala. Haha. Ayun. Libot libot. Kumain na naman sila ng pagkain. Walang kasawa sawa. Haha. Ayun bonding muna bago umuwi. Nangtrip. Yeah! Haha. Nagbabay na kami at ngtaxi na. Stopover sa Ice Cream Store at kumain kami ng ice cream (malamang). Dun nalang ako nagpasundo. Wooo.

Nagsleepover sila Bea at Joyce sa bahay. Saya saya. Pinagtripan nila ako kala ko tulog na sila. Siyet. Hindi pa pala. Haha. Ayun. Asaran. Basta. Wooo.

Tuesday na. Siyet. Wala kaming magawa sa bahay. Nagkayayaan kami magpagupit. Tas narinig ng ate ko. Abay sumama sa amin! Haha. Ayun. Wala lang. Yung ate ko nalang nagpagupit at kami ay nakatunganga sa David's. Hahaha. Nagkayayaan kami magEuro Star. Eh di sinundo muna namin si Raizel. Ang tagal lumabas! Grabe naman! Namuti na mga buhok namin sa kakahintay! Haha. Ayun. Nagtaxi kami papuntang The Fort. Wala kasing lisensya si Ate. Nawala sa bahay. Haha.

Pagdating namin dun nakakabadtrip! Wala ng Euro Star Carnival! Kakaasar! Grrr!! Nakakatempt tuloy mag Pier1! Pero syempre mga good girls kami. Susunod na sa curfew. Wahaha. Nag-Market Market nalang kami. Naglibot libot. Bumili ako ng skirt na Limited Too. Kyut sobra. Pangsummer. Whee. Haha. Dadalhin ko sa Davao. Wahaha.

Nanood kami ng She's the Man. Hanep! Nakakatawa yung movie! HAHAHA!! Hanep din yung nasa likod namin! Yung tawa akala mo mawawalan na ng hininga! HAHAHA!! Si Ate din hanep ang tawa!!! Siyempre ako hindi magpapatalo!! TAWA RIN! HAHAHA!!! Tawa lang kami ng tawa! Wahaha!

After nun, umuwi na kami. Nagtaxi ulit kami dahil pagod na si Kuya Jo. Hindi na kami masundo. Haha. Shotgun ako dahil gusto ko matulog. Pero di na ko nakatulog dahil text text na inatupag ko. Ayun. Pagkauwi nagmano kina Papa at Mama at inihatid ko na sila Joyce at Bea. Juskoo, 11 na ko nakauwi sa bahay! Grabe naman! Pero mga 1 na ko natulog. Masaya magpuyat. Hahaha.

Nagising ako sa text ni Agpoon. 8:30 na nun ng umaga ngayon. Eh usapan 9:30 nasa Ministop na. Haha! Naghilamos ako at kumain ng breakfast. Tinext ko si Papa at nagpaalam magswimming. Naghanda ako ng gamit. Siyempre nagsipilyo din ako noh! HAHA! Hinintay ng kaunti si Kuya Jo at lumarga na ko.

Natawa sila Ivy at Agpoon sakin. Nakapangtulog pa kasi ako kanina sa Ministop. HAHA! Tas hindi pa ko naliligo! Pero wala akong pakialam. Mabango pa naman ako. Wooo. Paris Hilton pa amoy ko. Wahaha!!

Nagdrive thru kami sa Mcdo at pumunta na kaming Casa Milan. Yeah! Swimming na!! Haha! Sa wakas ay napagswimsuit namin si Ivy! Ang ganda ganda niya!! HAHAHA! Lahat kami ay napakasexy! Yeah yeah yeah! HOT na!!

Langoy langoy kami. Akala mo naman magagaling. HAHAHA! Basta ang saya saya! picture picture! Nagslide pa kami! Kinuha pa namin ung dolphin ng isang grupong nagsswimming dun! HAHAHA! Basta masaya! Kahit nawala poise ko nung nadulas ako. HAHAHA.

Umuwi na kami sa bahay ng 3. Mga inaantok kami. Pero nagising dahil dun sa kanta sa TV. Haha. Dahil namimiss na ni Ivy si Mike Shinoda napagkasunduan namin maginternet. Woooo. Pumunta kaming Open 24 at naginternet na. Ang ingay namin! Lalo na si Ivy! Kumakanta! At nagwawala dahil may asawa na si Mike! HAHAHA!

After 2 hours at 30 minutes umuwi na kami. Kumain kami ng dinner at nanood ng Date Movie. Puro nalang ako movie noh? Haha. Ayun, nakakatawa siya. Pero yung ibang parts nakakadiri na!! Pero nakakatawa pa rin! Parang lahat ng movie andun na. Haha! Siyempre nakakuha ako ng bagong sayaw dun. Yung Qtip! Hahahaha!

After nun, pinapanood namin ni Agpoon si Ivy ng Havoc. Juskoo, ang lalala ng scenes. Takte. Haha. Isang malaking EEEWW! Hahaha. Pinahiram ko si Ivy ng DVDs. Juskoo, kinuha na niya lahat! Wahaha.

Kakaalis lang nila. Haaayy. Ang saya saya talaga. Woooo. Ano naman kaya bukas? Hahaha. :P

2006-03-17T20:46:00.000+07:00

I became too busy to update my blog. Hah.

Exams were finally over!! Yeah. Haha. I was too lazy to take it seriously. I hope I did well. Woo. Haha.

SULONG will be officially over tomorrow. Aaww. It makes me sad just to think about it. I really enjoyed being a SULONG org/faci. Awww.

I had fun with the CDs. My comm was participative. And my comm head was the block head. And Block 4 was declared Best Block! HAHA! Cheers for BLock 4! And congrats to us! Haha! Barbs and Char (CD 13) Me and Lorvi (CD 14) Ate Ruby and Tonie (CD 15) Ate Haneka and your partner (sorry I forgot!) (CD 16)

The FSD, DS, and Ensemble were great. :)

Haay naku. I'm too tamad to continue. Hah.

2006-03-14T22:38:00.000+07:00

Oh gahd. Exams week, folks.

I've been pretty busy. Isnt it obvious? Haha.

Right now, I have mixed up emotions. Happy because things are looking up between....., sad because some problems between my friends are surfacing, depressed because Celine's gone, frustrated because of school, excited for summer, mad at some people, weirded out with everything, and many more.

Deym. I'm feeling lazy again. Hah.

Till next time friends. :)

2006-03-02T23:52:00.000+07:00

I hate it when things dont go my way.

Haay. Wala lang. Secret ko nalang yun.

Dont try to understand. I just feel so dejected today.

***

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHERINE AGPOON!

You're already 15, my loves. :)

Thanks for cheering me up a little today, together with the HitBu gang. I love you guys sooo much!! <3

Thanks for making me feel loved everytime I feel so low. You and Ivy will always be my Buscopans. Mwah!

***

A few more minutes then it's Ulrichk's turn.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ULRICHK ZAFRANCO!

Wow. You're 18 already. You're legal!! Tanda mo na tsong.

Thanks for helping me everytime I'm in some kind of shit. Stay high, my dear friend. :)

2006-02-28T03:26:00.000+07:00

I didnt sleep well last night.

Maybe because I got to sleep the whole day.
Maybe because I'm worried for the the debate later.
Maybe because I'm not used to the new dim lights in my room.
Or maybe...

Maybe I was thinking.

Maybe that is also the reason why I toss and turn in bed.
Maybe that is also the reason why I'm mindlessly staring into space.
Maybe that is also the reason why I cant go back to sleep.
maybe...

I dont know what I'm feeling right now. I just feel this large hollow hole in my chest. I feel...empty.

I'm going...
going...
gone.

2006-02-25T23:39:00.000+07:00

Siyet. Ang busy ng Saturday ko. Hahahaha.

First, of course the Noli rehearsal. As usual, we were not complete. Putek. Sana next time noh? Haha. Ok lang at least I had fun. =P

Then I went home to rest a bit for the YFC concert party. Met up with PK in DASC.

It was soooo hot! So we made takas and went to SM North. Magpapalamig lang. HAHA. We were supposed to watch Close to you (!!!) but the movie was going to start at 5 pm pa. Eh we need to be back at Circle at 6 pm. So we just ate and bummed around.

So there. We went back na. We were with Ate JK and other YFC members. The concert began. Wala lang. We watched a little then sat on the bleachers. Di namin type ni PK eh. Haha. And besides, may mga katext kami. Wahaha.

Then BAMBOO na!!! Siyet!!! I love them!!! Si Bamboo at Ira ko!! Gaaahh!!! I love them sobra!!! They sang really cool songs (unlike the first bands who played, I wont mention names) so I was glad they were there. Haayy. Kakainlab talaga. Wooo. :)

The fireworks are outstanding. <3

Oh yeah, they (members of our YFC chapter) were quite suprised we were there. Haha. Buti daw naisipan na namin magpakita. Hahaha. Next week we have a bonding/gimmick with them. Woo. Cant wait. ;)

We hitched a ride with Tito Oskee and his family. Nakalibre pa kami ng dinner. Haha. Saya. So there. We're planning to be active na. Hah. Sana nga. Yey.

I hope I can still go out tomorrow. I want to go to PK's awarding thingy, GALS competition and to the mall. Haha.

2006-02-24T21:05:00.000+07:00

I'll update you with what happened to me today. Hah.

But first, let me get this out of my system.

Para sa gobyerno at sa mga tao, ang se-selfish niyo mga gago! Nakakadismaya ang mga pangyayari ngayon. Putek. Wala na ba kayong ibang alam gawin? Nadadamay kaming mga walang kinalaman sa kajologan niyo. Tae.

Okay, chilling down.

We had rehearsals today for the Noli play. Siyet. (Btw, I'm Maria Clara. Dont even ask why I got that role. Grr.) Wala lang. I had trouble with some of my lines. Iyak lang kasi ng iyak ung character ko. It's so annoying. And please lang, if some people are going to be prima donnas dont join the play! They're pissing us off. Tss.

Anyway, I had fun today. Wooo. I love my friendly friends! =P Big BIG shoutout to Berny (Adik ka!), Claudine (Masarap ang "Pepsi Blue"), Janine (sige sasama ko na si Chi mo), Agpoon (Brush up tayo!), Ivy (Itaas mo!), Katrina (Early birds?!), Tricia (Ganda ng kamay ko!) and Tonyang (Bestfriend!). Hah.

Oh yeah, I tried 2 wonderful gowns for my costume wardrobe!! Siyet. I fell in love with Melissa's lola's gowns! I heart heart heart them! I cant wait to wear it on our play. Hahaha. :)

Joyce went to our rehearsal to see me. Why? Because she loves me so much! Haha. She picked up the cocktail dress I'm lending to her and decided to stay to watch us. Eh, pauwi na mga tao so we went to Mcdonald's to grab a bite. I was supposed to catch a ride with her but the driver already arrived. She just went here (at home) and tried other gowns in my room. Haha.

After she left, I went to Patricia's just to say hi. Haha. We went to Java Republic and bought Choco Chill. Then we went to the park and talked about stuff. Takte, tama daw bang asarin ako kay blank at blank? Haha. We miss Lily so we called her. Wooooo.

I'm pretty beat. But I have this feeling my weekend will be more hectic. =P

2006-02-24T07:35:00.000+07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

NO FUH-REAKING CLASSES!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

***

I'm glad there's no school today. I didnt get to do my assignments and projects last night. I fell asleep the moment I got home. HAHA.

The whole HitBu gang was lethargic yesterday.

We all had headaches and apathy for everything that's happening around us. Hah. Except for what happened to us. The basaan, the "stunt" we pulled, what I did, blah blah blah. Haha.

We're having another "session" later. Wooooo.

HitBu!!!!!

***

Siyet. May rehearsals kami. Tae.

2006-02-23T03:45:00.000+07:00

Time check: 3:16 am

Hah. I havent done this in a long time.

I'M AWAKE! AT 3 AM NO LESS!!!

Me, the grump every mornings.
Me, the one who can sleep during New Year's Eve.
Me, who can sleep for 10 hours straight.

Which is weird, because I always have a hard time in sleeping. I can stay awake for hours without getting lethargic. But when I finally fall asleep, naku patay tayo dyan. Magkita nalang tayo next lifetime because no one can wake me up.

I dont like falling asleep but I love sleep. HAHA. Labo, mehn.

***

SENSELESS THOUGHTS:

I wish summer is here. I want to go to Brazil! Hah. Sige, asa pa, libre lang yan.
My nails' are driving me mad!! I want to cut them but I want to get a French tip. Siyet.
What if I lost one eye? Would anyone noticed?
HitBu HitBu HitBu HitBu!
I'm craving for siyet. Hah. Secret ko lang yan with the HitBu gang.
I want to get my tongue pierced, but I dont have the guts to. I just want to know if it hurts or not. Hah. Labo.
Wonder what he's up to.....??

2006-02-21T21:55:00.000+07:00

Just had our achievement test today. Gah.

It was easy peasy, lemon squeesy. Hah.

I sat beside Ivy. Yeah yeah. I miss being her seatmate. I miss our antics. I miss our loud laughter. I miss our corny jokes. I miss her!

Which is quite weird, because I'm always with her in the classroom. HAHAHA.

Anyway, I did "something". We did "something" Haha. I wont post it here because it might become evidence. There were already 5 witnesses, I dont need any more proof. So if we're close, swerte mo, ikkwento ko sayo. HAHA.

I can only say one thing...

Achievement test na nga lang hindi pa pinalampas. HAHAHA.

***

19 days more before junior year ends.
2 months, 2 weeks and 5 days more before senior year.
4 months and 23 days more before UPCAT.
14 months more before graduation from high school.
16 months more before college.

My Chem teacher told this to our class yesterday.

Wala lang. It made me think.

I only got limited time to enjoy my high school life. Siyet. I'll be in college next year. That's quite a big deal for me. Why? Because I know for the fact that I'm NOT yet ready.

I'm still undecided what I'm going to do. Not just with what I'm going to take up. Basta, I cant explain. It's like college seems so far away yet it's slowly creeping itself towards me, ready to pounce. Next thing I know, I'm already caught whether I like it or not.

Dang it. I dont know what to do again. Hah.

***

Even in my state of cluelessness, I'm still extremely happy.

My cranium's filled with mindless thoughts.
I smile when I daydream.
I giggle like a silly highschool girl. Wait, I AM a silly highschool girl!
I find reasons to laugh.
I'm looking at the glass half-full.

So this is the effect of being contently happy.

WHY am I happy?

It's for me to know and for you to find out.

:)

2006-02-20T20:35:00.000+07:00

Demmer. I'm happy.

Not just normal happy. I mean, giddy-I-think-I'm-losing-my-mind-I-cant-think-straight-I-have-a-huge-grin-on-my-face-the-world-looks-beautiful-happy. :)

And I think this mood will stay for a very long time.

I hope. :)

2006-02-19T09:04:00.000+07:00

Demmer. I havent blog for a week.

Here's what I've been up to that keeps me away from the computer:

1. My cousin's debut
2. Uncle Amby's short visit
3. School work (yeah right. Haha)
4. The making of HitBu (my new set of friends)
5. Phone fests with friends
6. Valentine suprises for some of my friends.
7. Being Marianne's PA and make-up artist. Hah.
8. Bea's birthday! Yeah!

Haha. I had a good week. Life is great. :)

*Sige na, tinatamad ako ikwento lahat eh. Haha. Pagtyagaan niyo nalang mga kaibigan. Wahaha!*

2006-02-10T22:38:00.000+07:00

The JS Turnover was finally over.

It's ok, but too long. Forget that it's solemn. Almost everyone was talking and laughing.

Mass: 1 hour
5 minute break
Candlelight ceremony: 1 hour
Turnover ceremony: 20 minutes
Batch history: 30 minutes
Batch will and testament: 30 minutes
Batch prophecy: 45 minutes

Damn it. I was so hungry the whole time. I didnt even eat lunch because I was too busy bumming around the classroom. Hah.

Ate Ana looked so beautiful tonight. =P

***

Everyone was incredibly vain. HAHA. Naglabasan na ang tunay na kulay.

Before the JS proper, everyone was fixing their hair, putting on make-up and rushing to the bathroom to admire their beautiful selves. Mwahaha. Ano ah, ako lang ba ang vain? Noooo. Haha.

And so many students brought their cameras and cellphones. Kodakan syempre! HAHA. I was with my partner-in-vanity-moments, Katrina. Oh yeah! We had soo many pictures in her camera. *Kaye-in-Vain* And in Tricia's phone. *I love her N70* And in Alyssa's and Toni May's. *Tonyang 3 months na tayo! Mwah!*

As Katrina and I put it, VANITY ROCKS! :D

***

My dad's already here. Yay.

And my favorite uncle is here too. Double yay.

Am nervous for tomorrow. Gulp.

2006-02-08T18:35:00.000+07:00

This morning was mad fun. Hah.

First Marianne and I were in the stairs. Since it was 7 am we were still in sleepy mood. Just then Daphne (who was in front of us) fell! We were shocked. HAHA! We laughed so hard!! And so many people noticed it. They all laughed. Good thing Daphne was a good sport about it. *peace!*

Then when we reached our classroom, the door was locked. We peered in the windows and saw our classmates hiding. Putek, magtatago na nga lang kita pa? HAHAHA. They dont want to let us in, "no one was there" daw. Siyet. Haha. Lakas trip kayo, mehn. They finally let us in, laughing at us because we looked so mad! HAHA. Ang corny kasi eh! Pero infairness, I found it funny. HAHAHA.

Since we're already fooled, we're now part of the plan. Bwaha. We prepared for the next victims. We saw some Galilie people in the corridor so we hid and locked the doors. SIYET. It's sooooo funny! HAHAHA! My classmates were banging the doors! They were freaking mad!! HAHAHA!!

Okay, ang babaw ko. Haha. But it was really hilarious.

I heart Galilee. <3

***

The practice for the turnover started today.

I can only say one word for it: BORING.

It was soooo long. And I'm itching to stretch my legs and body. I cant sit straight.

Oh yeah, my partner is Denise Hernandez. She's pretty nice. :)

I cant wait for the whole stupid activity to end. I hate it.

Sama eh. Ok, tama na.

***

We got reprimanded by 2 coordinators today.

Sir Liboon and Mrs. Tabada. Big deal. Haha.

Siyet. I'm getting worse everyday. I dont really care about the administration of the school. They're getting rid of CMLI so there's no use for making "pa-cute" and "pa-goody-to-shoes" with them. I like being rowdy. Hah.

I get this feeling that Sir Liboon is talking about me when he was giving his sermon. Included daw sa top 10 eh. I'm the only one (in the top 10) who was defying him (by not reading). Hah.

Oh well. I dont really care. I'm not running for anything in school. I'm all set in the school paper. I've been suspended before, so the thought of getting a sanction doesnt scare me that much.

Exagg naman. Haha. Wala lang. I just realized I'm tired of appearing perfect to them. Siyet.

***

Dang. I got the Valentine bug.

Yeah, yeah. So sue me. Haha.

Wala lang. I just want to feel special next week. :)

*Oo alam ko andyan ka. Kaya nga masaya ako eh. Kahit papano nararamdaman ko mahalaga ako sayo. Sobrang pinapasaya mo ko. You know it naman diba? I always smile when I think of you. You dont know how good you make me feel. I wish you'll stay. I know I will. Mwah!*

2006-02-07T20:56:00.000+07:00

The much-awaited Bob Marley Fest passed by without me in the celebration. DANG!

First my mom allowed me. Then she took her permission back. Why? Because she thought it was for next week. When I mentioned it was this Monday night (yesterday) she went ballistic. It's a Monday night. My dad's still in the States. The Wowowee incident. She hardly sees me at home. She went on and on until my ears fell out. Haha. I put on my sad-dog eyes but she wouldnt budge. Siyet.

So I was on school, making a plan with my girls to go out without our moms noticing. Hah. Joyce will go out with her sister and I will go with mine then fetch Bea at her house. I promised them I'll call them when I get my sister to go with me.

Damn it, when I got home I fell asleep!!! GRRRR!!! I woke up at 10 pm! Potah. The reggae fest already started and I'm still wearing my P.E. uniform!!! LINTIK.

Why do I have to sleep through it?????????

***

One more week to go before The DAY.

You know what day I mean.

The L-word is definitely in the air for my classmates and friends. Hah.

I'm excited and giddy for them. Ohmaygawd.

I hope they're happy next week. They deserve it. <3

***

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATE GOLD! Hah. You're officially a young woman now.

It also means you're legal. You can now go to jail, if you're caught which I know you wont be because you're the smartest person I know. Bwahaha.

Smooches, my perfect cousin. <3

***

Siyet. Ate Gold's debut is this coming Saturday.

I havent memorized all the dances for the discotillion.

I still dont have a gown/cocktail dress.

I havent looked for stilletos that is comfortable for dancing.

I dont have a clue what my hair and make-up would be.

Ack! I still need a gift!

And I have to come up with a very intellectual and inspiring message for her. Siyet. My brain's not functioning for 2 weeks now. I hope I can make something remotely interesting.

I'm dead.

2006-02-05T20:01:00.000+07:00

February 5 na!! Hahaha!!

FEAST OF THE TUFF GONG BOB MARLEY!!!!

So get off your ath and see you tomorrow at Xaymaca!! Bob Marley Fest! Deym.

Cant wait.

***

My weekend was UBER fun! Haha.

Greenhills. Promenade. La salistang papabols. Window-shopped. Magic wallet. PROOF. Vanity moments. Fooling with the computer. Tagay na!! MYMP. Bob Marley. Hemp Republic. Peace pipe. Badjao. Brownman Revival. Plaza Ibarra. Discotillion practice. Yellow cab. Taguan with my sister and her friends. Doobie Nights. BFV. YM sessions with Ariel (Bea). Text marathon with Lorenzo (Joyce). Phone fest with Joseph (mine). Tinkering with the guitar that's missing a string. Sayawan to the max! Laughed our asses off! Sally Hansen. Trip to Watson's. Shopped for my gown/cocktail dress. Concocting ideas. Bummed around. "project-making". Xaymaca. Gigolo. Esquinita. Tiendensitas. Planning for Bea's birthday. *mashadong maramig!*

Oh yeah. I so love my weekend. <3

Well, except maybe for the Wowowee incident. Let's pause for a moment of silence and pray for the unfortunate souls who got trampled on.

Moving on...

Like I said above, February 5 na! Haha! This date means a lot to me. It's the first time I got together with my girls. We totally bonded after this.

I quite remember that day. It was PTC in our school and we're planning to go to the SHS fair/concert. After the talk with our adviser and parents, we're good to go! We stopped at Claret first to check with Joyce's mom and stayed for a while because it was the family day of the 7th graders. We wouldnt miss a chance for free food! Haha. We went to my house and stayed there for a couple of hours. Pandemonium broke loose in my room as Bea and Joyce rummaged through my stuff. Music was blaring from my TV and we're laughing and joking around. Afterwards we got ready for the concert. We did.. uhhh.. "stuff". Haha. Secret. So there. We went to SHS. The concert was fun. BAMBOO! Haha. I heart Ira. Yeah! But.. OH MY GAD. We were being approached my guys every 5 minutes! Bea and Joyce were so shy so they made me do all the talking. Siyet. I dont know what to say because I wasnt expecting any of these. I mean, we just thought we're just going to watch the concert. It didnt occur to us that guys will approach us or anything. HAHA. So there. We didnt give out our numbers though. Mataray kami eh. Bwahaha! We went straight (!) home when it ended. Pics muna sa room ko before I dropped them off to their homes. It was soooooooooo much fun!!!!!!!!!!!

But this date is more memorable to Bea. Mwahaha.

2 weeks after the eventful day, we went out again. And it has been going on every week for a whole year now.

I love my girls. I heart Bea and Joyce. Smooches to them.

2006-02-01T18:28:00.000+07:00

School was blah. No stories to share.

I'm getting effing bored this week.

***

Since the nuns in our school are into the whole "simplicity" thing, guess what we're having?

A JS Turnover.

Not a prom.

And it's held in SCHOOL and we have to wear our SCHOOL UNIFORM.

It really sucks.

Normally I wouldnt care. Heck, I dont even like big parties.

But my friends from other schools couldnt help talking about their upcoming prom and the gimmick after. To make matters worse, they showed me their ah-dorable gowns.

Argh. I'm feeling jealous.

Why do HFS has to be convent-strict?

***

February 5 is this Sunday.

You might be asking why it's important.

Well, it will be officially a year when Joyce and Bea became my girls. YAY!

We're getting wasted this weekend. HAH.

2006-01-31T19:42:00.000+07:00

I'm stupid.

I'm foolish.

I'm shit.

I'm crap.

2006-01-29T19:57:00.000+07:00

I have the weirdest laugh. Haha.

Ask any of my girls. Hah. They'll tell you about my falsetto guffaw.

Siyet. Ang ganda ko tapos parang timang yung tawa ko. HAHAHA!!

***

The REB screening was cancelled yesterday.

Oh my. Is this a sign that I should go ahead with the screening??

Deym. I'm confused again.

***

Bea stayed here last night. She went to Eastwood with Adrian then went here.

I didnt know Adrian was with her when I opened the gate. I was wearing my Cebu shirt, plaid shorts and my hair in a frizz. Tres gorgeous. Not.

We slept at about 2?? We were talking what happened to their "date" (Siyet. Is it a date date??) and my "lovelife" (if there is any).

All I can say is...

Ako pinakamukhang mature saming tatlo ako pinakanahuhuli.

Hah. Dont try to understand.

***

Kept thinking why the night is dark. Labo, man.

Though it feels so nice to look up and see the darkness covering the sky like a black blanket. The endless horizon that stretches across the universe, making me feel that everything is possible.

Siyet. What am I talking about???

2006-01-28T18:07:00.000+07:00

Hectic sched this week, folks.

Like I said before, I've been staying after school until 9 pm to help finish the school paper. It's a lot of work but I love every single minute of it!! Hahaha! Bonding time with the fourth year members and Jezz was really great!! BIG big SHOUT OUT for them: Ate Ruby, Ate Dane, Ate Haneka, Ate Bugs, and Ate ANA!!! Syempre si Jezz din. Hahahaha!!

Monday, it was only me, Jezz and Ate Ana. The next day, Ate Ruby joined us. Then Ate Dane and Ate Haneka followed. And finally, Ate Bugs! Complete na kami!! even if it took four days. Hah.

Of course, we just didnt do the paper. Duh. Hahaha. We went ghost-hunting, suprised Ate Ana in her NEB meeting, shared secrets and stuff, made fun of each other and laugh laugh LAUGH!! HAHAHA!! I even taught them my very intellectual games, the wishing game and 5 game! Bwahahaha!!!

I really love the Familian Editorial Staff. I'll stay for next year. Promise. :)

***

I've also been playing agony aunt this week. Waaah! Why do so many people have problems last week? It's really confusing me. Wahaha!

Anyway, I'm helping them with their dilemmas. I'm such a good friend, you know. Bwahaha!

Seriously though, I'm a little bit suprised that they came to me for help. I thought people see me as the pasaway-shallow-gimikera-vain-person who doesnt give a damn. (On the outside, if you dont know me that well, I tend to give off that kind of vibe.) I really dont expect them to share stuff with me when they dont even know my secrets.

Then again, sabi nga ni Katrina, halatang experienced na ko. It's etched all over my face. Whut?? Hahaha!!!

To those who poured out their thoughts, they will be kept anonymous. Don't worry guys, my lips are sealed.

***

"Tell someone what you really feel,
Mean what you say,
And say what you mean;
'Coz opportunities are lost
in a blink of an eye,
And REGRET lasts a lifetime..."

One of my friends passed this quote to me. I'm helping her with her problem but she gave me this and said, "Kaye, do whatever thing that pops in your head when you read this. I can feel you're really hiding something."

I thought of three persons when I read it.

I thought of my sister.

I thought of my best friend.

And most of all,

I thought of the person I've been waiting for.

Wala lang. I'll share this stuff with someone I trust.

Thanks "A", for giving me the quote. I'm more confused but still, you helped me make up my mind of what I'm going to do. :)

***

With all the work and sleepless nights this week, I deserve a break. Haha.

I went to AHS last night with my girls. We were supposed to stop by the college dept. afterwards because there's a party/concert there. Free alcohol! But since my dad's in the States, he only let me go to AHS. Oh well. I'm not yet in college. Haha.

I met up with Joseph. Ang bait nilibre kami ng tickets! Hahaha! *wala PERFECT kasi eh*

The moment he arrived, my girls took off. Hiwalay daw. Okayyyy......

I hung out with Joseph the whole night. Hah. I cant remember which part of the concert I watched. We were mostly talking. Hah.

Chips was there too. He joined us but he wants to be with Bea and Joyce. So I called them to join us. The saga of their corny jokes started. Kaya daw corny kasi...... SECRET! Hahahaha!! bad..

Saya naman last night. It helped me relax a little bit. Woo.

What else?? Oh yeah, Joseph and I went to the other side of their gym. I was just looking back because I'm overwhelmed with the darkness then he asked me if I want to go there. Sige naman ako. I'm just amazed with the darkness and the silence of the night. It made me think again.

Then it was time to go home. The driver was already waiting for us. Takte niloko pa ko! Grr. I'll get you next time, Kuya Jo. Hahaha!

I was quiet and pensive on the ride home. The night always has this effect on me. Akala tuloy nila Bea nakatulog na ko! Haha!

Mcdonald's was already closed so we cooked hotdogs when we got home. Dapat afterwards, we're going to drink again but because we were too tired and sleepy the next chapter of tequila shots will just have to wait for next week. Haha.

I went to sleep, still thinking why the night has to be so dark. Labo. Haha.

***

The second REB staffer screening was today. I didnt go.

Ive been thinking about this since last week. I asked God if I should go.

I know Jilian and the rest of my friends were disappointed.

But it doesnt matter to me now.

God has plans for me. REB isnt one of them.

***

It's the wedding of my cousin today. Hah. I'm actually in Bulacan.

Kapal ko din noh. Nakicomputer pa. Haha.

ATE JANIS!! CONGRATS!! PERO BAKIT KA KAAGAD NAGPAKASAL!! WALA NA MATANDA KA NA!! HINDI KA NA MAKAKAGIMIK!!

Oh Gad. They're talking about some things I dont have a clue in.

Loner mode on.

2006-01-26T20:29:00.000+07:00

I got about 6 minutes to tell about my week.

I went to Baguio for the weekend. Guess what I've brought. Flipflops, capri pants and my yellow bolero jacket. Good thing my yaya brought my green turtleneck to keep my warm. Syet. Haha. Will tell more next time.

Ive been staying after school up until 9 pm to help finish the school paper. I LAB IT!! Bonding time with my FEDS friends!! Woo!!! And, basta.. will post about something next time. ;)

Cramming for school work. Nothing ever changes.

Career pathing talk last Tuesday. Tae. I hate the speaker. Basta, putek. I'm was going to worship her for being everything I want to be then she opened her mouth and ruined it. Tae.

My dad left for the US yesterday. Syet. Sana kasama ako.

Eerrrr.. I still got tons to say but I forgot na! Haha!

2006-01-19T22:03:00.000+07:00

I realized that no matter how sucky everything turns out to be, I have a lot of things to be thankful for.

I <3 my family.

I <3 my friends.

I <3 myself.

and most of all,

I <3 God. :)

This week was all about discovering. Discovering my weaknesses, my strengths, my failures, my success. Discovering the path towards self-acceptance, towards forgiveness.

We all need to forgive ourselves for mistakes we had done, whether intentionally or not. Burdening ourselves more will only create a monster in us.

I'm done with crying.

I'm done with self-pity.

Being done with them doesnt mean I wont experience or do it again. I know I'll be a mess again. But next time, there will be a difference. I'll be able to handle myself more maturely by then.

I already forgave myself.

Maybe it's time to forgive others and to let people inside my world. :P

2006-01-15T09:25:00.000+07:00

I woke up at 4 am.
For some reason I couldnt go back to sleep.
So I closed my eyes and thought.
Someone told me thinking too hard was bad.
But I dont care.
I had enough with my impulsive actions.
Thinking is all I have to do.
I thought about what I wreck I was last Friday.
I still feel messed up.
I said and done a lot of things I wasnt yet ready to.
And now, all of it changes everything.
I wished everything would get better when I wake up today.
But no. I think its getting worse.
I have to fix everything.
It's all my fault.
I'm sorry for failing everyone.
I'm sorry for failing you.
I'm sorry for failing myself.
I feel numb.
I feel nothing.
Maybe because I'm hurting too much.
I dont know.
That's all Ive been saying these past few weeks.
I dont know.
And everyone expects me to know.
Well, I'm sorry I really dont know.
I thought I had it easy.
I guess not.
You all thought I was strong.
But really, I just dont show it.
I just wanted to cry openly now.
And not care if people think I'm weak.
Not care if people think I'm melodramatic.
I feel so empty.
I'm tired.
Tired of thinking I'm so petty.
Tired of thinking there's a lot of problems that's bigger than mine.
Because if you're the one experiencing it, that's big for you.
And sometimes world hunger and poverty cant compete.
I'm so selfish.
But people say I'm too nice.
Too nice for my own good.
Maybe I should just stop.
I've got to heal.
I've got to fix things.
I've got to fix myself.
Yeah, that's an idea.
But I dont even know how.
I feel so stupid.
Maybe it's true.
Because I dont even know what to do.
I dont know where to start.

*I'm distressed,
In a real mess,
Cast down,
Lost my crown,
No more a princess...*

2006-01-14T17:16:00.000+07:00

My "date" with Sheric yesterday wasnt what I expected.

First, Joyce and Bea went with us. We invited them along because they looked lonely on the lobby waiting for me. Awww. Hahaha.

Second, the trip to Frio Mix was cancelled. We just bought 2 bottles of tequila and stayed in my room.

Tae. I was only joking with the drinking but it was pushed through.

And I was drunk. Potah.

I had about 9 (or was it 10?) shots of tequila. Without chasers.

Then I chugged down almost the whole pitcher of the cocktail we made.

Basically I drank half a bottle. (We only opened one. The other one I kept hidden in my room.)

Plus, I have the monthlies. And my stomach's empty because I didnt eat lunch. Deym.

It's no suprise that I was drunk, now that I think about it.

First time ko malasing. Before I just feel woozy and light-headed and sleepy.

I wasnt thinking straight yesterday. Lalo na siguro when I was drunk.

Joyce and Bea filled me with everything I said and done when I was under the influence of alcohol. Tae. Iyak tawa ako. Potah. And I was babbling. I was wearing my heart on my sleeve. I didnt care of what will happen. Heck, I was in my own house. Sheric, Joyce and Bea all had to go home, Kaya siguro hindi masyado uminom yung mga yun.

Fuck. How could I be so stupid????????

I admit, I got so many things on my mind. I felt that I want to be reckless and daring for a change. Everyone thinks I'm pretty sensible. But nothing makes sense to me. Everything I touch breaks. Nothing's going right. Everytime I open my mouth I get into trouble. I manage to upset everyone without trying to. I feel so confused, so lost.

I just want to stop.

2006-01-12T03:00:00.000+07:00

The silence envelopes me one night

As I toss and turn in bed

Sounds ringing in my ears

Thoughts swimming in my head

So often I give a helping hand

So often I set myself aside

Sarcastic smiles and fake laughs

These I often give outside

Yet inside my heart was screaming

My soul was losing sight

The anguish and pain I feel

Turned to tears at night

Nobody knew the secrets I keep

The secrets I kept untold

For I would rather withhold my words

And stay shivering in the cold

Confusion erupted in my head

Bringing ideas deep within

Melancholy bursted in my chest

Bemoaning sentiments so grim

Feelings of daze and agitation

Filled my bottomless pit of void

Whispers of grief and lamentation

Made my thoughts of hope recoiled

So many times I want to be still

And stop the world and my stride

'Cause all thses makes me old

Yet I'm a lost little child

2006-01-11T04:39:00.000+07:00

Shit. I only got 3 hours of sleep, man.

Expect me to be bangag the whole day.

I wonder what will I look like. My eyebags must have tripled in size.

That's because of our project in Social Studies. I was assigned for the written report for our diorama.

Ivy and Agpoon are fun groupmates, let me tell you.

We had 3 days to do it.

Friday (at my place) : We went to the bookstore to buy the materials needed for our diorama. We put the walls and the sand. After that we ate and watched TV. And laughed a lot.

Saturday (Ivy's crib) : We went to Eunilaine to buy some things we forgot, then made our trees and the sky. We watched Kingkong while eating lunch and goofed off afterwards. We cam-whored and slept and read books. We went out and played Gunbound! Laughing was the official language of the day.

Tuesday (Agpoon's house) : Agpoon and I made the sea while waiting for Ivy. Ivy arrived with diorama. She already made some house. We went to work while fooling around. Then we found out we lack some supplies and went to SM North. Since we said we deserved a little rest, we went to watch Saint Ange. After the movie we went back to Agpoon's and picked up were we eft off. Then we assigned each other individual things to do. I passed my HAHA syndrome to them.

Saya noh?? I LAB THEM.

Shit. Now I have a headache.

2006-01-07T20:55:00.000+07:00

Almost everyone asks me to help them. To give them advice. To solve their problems.

And I think, "This is so freaking ironic."

I cant even help myself. How can I help them?

Shit. I need some counseling.

I think I'm a hypocrite. For helping others. For giving them advice. For solving their problems.

Why cant I do that with my life??

Maybe it was meant then. I'll just have to make others happy while I stay miserable.

Potah. Anong klaseng buhay toh..

Somebody shoot me. I'm too sad to think of anything.

I'll just keep quiet. With everything.

2006-01-06T19:35:00.000+07:00

SHET NA MALAGKIT! I got my card already.

HOLY SMOKES! Bumaba ako in almost all subjects and my general average.

AMPU!! I lost 6 points in my Math grade. From 95 down to 89.

BWISET!! My Filipino grade was just 82. Lowest ko pa yan!

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

Sorry if I sound like a geek too concerned for her grades. It's just that I cant believe the average job I did last trimester. Sabi nga ng teacher ko, the work I did was always between the line of mediocrity and excellence.

I know I'm above average. Or am I?

Ahhh, basta!! I'm really going to work hard and study. I'll show them. I admit I wasnt being careful with my grades. Pa-easy easy lang ako. But now, they should get ready because I'm freaking pissed with the results. And when I'm pissed, I'm really pissed. I'll do everything.

Uh-oh. Freak girl na ko! Argh. Haha.

2006-01-05T20:18:00.000+07:00

It's only the second day since class started and I'm already beat.

LINTEK. 13 pages assignment sa Trigo! Ms. Tabayocyoc are you on drugs??

Plus the work all the teachers are giving us. Shet. I have 3 reportings due on the same day. Anong uunahin ko???

Oh yeah, add two tardiness in my record. I still need two more and hello, suspension.

But I'm glad to be back.

IVY! AGPOON! MAGSISIMULA NA NAMAN ANG PAGKALAT NG LAGIM NATIN SA CLASSROOM!! *evil laugh*

And everyone said I gained weight. Wahaha!!

Am scared for tomorrow. Card's day, lintek na yan. Wonder what my grades will be...

I'm starting to count the days before summer vacation.

2006-01-03T20:46:00.000+07:00

*I heard this song today and I got teary-eyed. I got all mushy and sappy, which is bad but I felt good. If I will be invited to prom night by someone I like (or likes me) this is the song to dance for that will get me weak in my knees. I love this song instantly when I first heard it in Mad about Mambo. Enjoy! =p

One Night by the Corrs

Long day and I'm ready, I'm waiting for your call
'Cos I've made up my mind
My heart aches with a hunger and the want that you were mine
No I cannot deny
So for one night - is it alright
That I give you
My heart - my love - my heart
Just for one night
My body - my soul
Just for one night
My love - my love
For one night - one night - one night
When morning awakes me
Well I know I'll be alone
And I feel I'll be fine
So don't you worry about me
I'm not empty on my own
For inside I'm alive
That for one night - it was so right
That I gave you
My heart - my love - my heart
Just for one night
My body - my soul
Just for one night
My love - I loved
For one night - one night - one night
For one night - it was so right
That I gave you
My heart - my love - my heart
Just for one night
My body - my soul
Just for one night
My love - my love
For one night - one night - one night
One night

***

"Talaga umalis kayo? So kayo na? Anong ginawa nyo? San kayo kumain? Bakit ka niya niyaya?"

I often get questions like this whenever someone knew I was out with a guy friend.

I dont get it. Why do people think that if a guy and girl go out it's a "date", even if they're just friends?

There's actually a story line to follow.

Guy and Girl go out. Someone sees them and immediately text a friend about what he/she saw. Friend goes on a texting frenzy and inform everyone that said Guy and Girl were out on a "date". If Guy or Girl has a boyfriend/girlfriend they will be also informed. Someone will confront Guy and Girl and asked him/her if it's true that they went out on a "date". Guy or Girl will laugh it off, since it isnt true. The next morning Guy and Girl gets the biggest suprise of his/her life because the story has been around passed around and even the mice under the sewers know what supposedly happened during the "date".

Oh diba? Grapevine talaga. Haha.

Like kanina. I was out with Justin because I was going to help him pick out a guitar. Justin has a girlfriend, Najja who is my friend. Najja knows we're together so its not a big deal. We were strolling in Gateway when someone from school (I wont say the name) called me and waved. Justin and I thought she didnt see him. After a few minutes, Najja texted Justin saying that the same someone texted Najja and told her she saw me and Justin together. That someone thought that something's going on between the two of us.

See? Napahiya siya siguro when Najja told her she knows about it.

Haay nku. I really cant stand gossips. Grrr.

Oh well. Bonding time with Justin was fun. And I met Janna, who's already 18. Ambata ko pa talaga! Hahaha! =p

2006-01-02T12:32:00.000+07:00

My New Year's resolutions:

Tardiness will not be my middle name anymore.
I will get off my butt and use the stored up energy in me. Work, exercise, anything to keep my blood flowing.
Have a healthier diet and take all my vitamins. I have had enough sick days last year and I want to gain weight every month.
Start up my bank/ATM account and ask my parents to just deposit my monthly allowance there. Make sure not to withdraw everything!
Take up ballet and jazz again. I miss dancing regularly.
Get Stacy fixed and practice playing the violin. Call my own teacher or go back to CMM.
Kick butt in school. Always do the work and not be lazy during class. I promise I wont sleep again but I will still eat during discussions. Mwahaha.
Have a regular study time, instead of my usual 30 minutes before going asleep or 30 minutes before class starts.
Cut back my phone, computer and TV hours. Also, restrain myself to have a phone marathon using my cellphone. No more huge bills!
Read. I feel illiterate after months of not reading a good book.
Learn how to do household chores. Cleaning my own room and washing my undies dont count.
I will not go out every weekend.
Work on my social skills. Interact with the outside world.
Learn to take criticism gracefully, even if it's not constructive.
Dont let my emotions get hold of me. Dont wallow in self-pity when I dont have any shred of self-esteem left.
Dont mask what I'm actually feeling inside. A friend told me its not good.
Keep waiting for someone. :)
Restrain myself from being sarcastic and moody. Avoid rebutting others.
Dont be too uptight and serious with everything.
and most of all, reconnect with GOD. :)

I wont dispose this list to the bin like the past years. I'll keep this one, promise! =p

And now, because I was tagged by Jovi and Valerie..

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.Need to mention the sex of the target. tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.If tagged the second time there's no need to post again.

Target: Someone obstensibly male. HAHA

8 WAYS TO MAKE ME SWOON:

1. God-loving. I dont want him to be religious because being religious means you're into religion but being God-loving means you're into God.

2. Goal-oriented. Someone who definitely knows what he wants and works hard to get it.

3. Has piercing eyes. I find a guy sexy when I see an intense look in his eyes. It makes me wonder what he's thinking about.

4. Air of mystery. It makes me crazy when I know there is something more.

5. Someone who makes me laugh. I have the HAHA syndrome remember?

6. Someone who can put up with idiosyncrasies. Everyone is complicated, including myself. I have a lot of things going on and I want someone who can understand me even if what I did is so stupid it makes me gag. But of course, he must have the guts to be frank with me.

7. Spontaneity. He does sweet but unusual things to me, has a sense of adventure, is not afraid to do something new, is unpredictable and makes suprises. Need I say more?

8. Is a musician or a dancer. I'm a sucker for drummers and someone who can play the saxophone. Since I love to dance, I like someone to appreciate dancing the way I do.

The lucky victims are... Joseph, Lexie, Alexis R, Ulrichk, Jenica, Rita, Patricia and Ritzel.

The 8 ways is not enough but I'm feeling lazy to continue it. Maybe next time. Haha. =p

2005-12-30T10:16:00.000+07:00

I know I'm a little late but...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Hahaha. Christmas Eve was the same to me. Had dinner with family (minus the stuffiness like last year), watched TV and slept, then woke up because of incessant beeping of my phone. Haha. I'm not a good companion for holidays. The thought of waiting for the strike of 12 puts me to sleep. HAHA. *party pooper alarm beeps*

Christmas Day was a bit different though. First, I didnt get too many presents. Unwrapping gifts was done after minutes. Haha. Tamad mga tao ginawang cash yung regalo sakin!! Then I didnt attend the annual brunch in Bulacan with my relatives on my mom's side. My flight was 3 in the afternoon and I have to beat the traffic and get there on time. Oh yeah, props to my tita and tito. I thought they already left for Cebu. Yun pala, they waited for me so I wouldnt have to go alone. I LOVE YOU!!

My Cebu trip was fun, in a lazy kind of way. HAHA. I had a whole itinerary for my trip but I ended up throwing it in the trash. I didnt go to the beach, I didnt get together with friends (for an entirely different reason), my mall rat days were temporarily on hold and my stomach was deprived of Sutukil. Instead, I just stuffed my face with whatever served at my tita's house, slept my ass off, watched DVDS and VCDS, read law books and do my share in Patricia's project.

Of course, I did get bored now and then. And the party, Gad I felt like an alien on a strange planet. Eveyone was speaking in Cebuano and I just nodded my head in a freakishly manner like I understand. When I couldnt take it anymore, I went to one corner and just sat there. I'm having my own party... in my mind. Wahahaha!!

Text marathons and pinball games were the highlight of my days. I just want to give a big shout out to the people who texted me, especially to Justin, who texted me everyday starting on the day of my Cebu flight!! AMBAET MO JASTEN!! MABUHAY KA!! KAHIT HINDI KO NABILI UNG GITARA MO DITO NALANG!! ANO, PAGUDPOD NA BA?? PAGUDPOD!!

I did a lot of thinking when I went to Cebu and I guess I declutter my mind a bit. I was a little confused with my life and everything and needed to clear my head. I'm thinking clearer now, and I now have a plan on what to do for the next couple of months. Haha.

Take the Oxford Tradition. A couple of months ago I was planning on going. In fact, I was ecstatic. I showed my parents the website for it and asked, no, pleaded them if I can go. I sent a email to the website for brochures and the application form. I contacted my relatives in the States if they know about it and asked their help (turns out, my tita went to the same program before). It costs a lot and I immediately forgot my plans on having a grand debut, a car and condominium when I reached 18. Heck, I thought, it's just stuff. It could wait. Oxford was an once-in-a-lifetime chance.

But now, I dont know if I'll go for it. I dont know if I have what it takes to wow the English dudes and dudettes and I'll be putting a lot of time, money and effort on stake. Plus, I'm emotionally tired with everything. I dont think I can handle the stress factor of preparing for and actually going to Oxford. I just wanted to live life, have a ball with everything, enjoy my young days before I actually get old (or get mature).

That's one of the things I've been thinking about. The rest, I'll just post some other time. Sobrang madami eh, iaayos ko muna. HAHA. I'll just post my year-ender post. Enjoy!

1. What did you do in 2005 that you've never done before?
a. I had my navel pierced.
b. Go to a screening and get totally crushed.
c. Had a pictorial. Gah!
d. Danced in the rain. :)
e. DRIVE! Which I'm horrible of.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more this year?
Haha! I forgot my resolutions after a week. Yeah, I'm making more but I'm going to keep it! That's number one on my resolution list.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I hope not! I'm only 15, for Pete's sake. Obviously I dont know too many people who can qualify for the I-can-get-pregnant-now age.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My dad's ariwana (is my spelling correct?? check pls!). No one, which I'm thankful for! :)

5. What countries did you visit?
None. Grumble. I was supposed to go to Singapore, Vietnam and Hongkong but my parents' work keeps putting it off. Grumble.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
Independence, logic and foresight.

7. What date in 2005 that will remain etched in your memory and why?
February 5, because that's the date when Joyce and Bea officially became my girls! Bwahaha.
April 3 and 17, my recitals in CMM.
May 8, because I got my navel pierced.
Oct. 26-30, CMLI 2k5!
December 21, the first time I got totally devastated and cried like a fool.
(There's a lot more. I forgot the dates but not the occasion. Haha.)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Performing in a huge group, juggling schoolwork, extracurricular activities while managing to have fun with family and friends at the same time (and emerging victorious in all), getting the highest card I ever got (95 on Math) and humbling myself.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being someone everyone expects me to be.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
The occassional cold, unless you count the time when I had a car accident and my body felt like dead weight.

11. What was the best thing you've bought?
FOOD is still the top of the line. Hahaha.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My family and friends. And someone I've been secretly waiting for. They made me so happy and I'm proud of them.

13. Whose behavior appalled you and made you depressed?
My sister. We havent talked since we fought a month ago.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Ech. I dont want to know.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
CMLI 2k5, going out with my friends, Advanced Jazz, playing my violin, the Puerto trip that got cancelled, seeing someone.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Ever After by Bonnie Bailey :)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? I guess the same. In the middle. HAHA.
ii. thinner or fatter? FATTER! Wahaha!!
iii. richer or poorer? Richer. Ata? Haha

18. What did you wish you've done more of?
Thinking before I acted.

19. What did you wish you've done less of?
Being too carefree. Allowing my emotions to get the better of me.

20. How will you be welcoming the New Year?
Sleeping. Haha. I dont know. Maybe celebrating with my family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Shet. This will sound baduy but I realized I was waiting for someone. Recently, I thought I was inlove with this guy but he's nothing compared to THAT someone. I dont know if I love THAT same someone. Time will tell. :)

22. How many one-night stands?
SHET! WALA!

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Channel nalang, because I'm not picky with programs. Nickelodeon, ETC, JACK TV, Star World.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you dont hate this time last year?
I really dont like hating people. I dont even like being angry. I often get pissed off but I dont make it an issue.

25. What was the best book you read?
Harry Potter 6! I'm a Potter-head and proud of it!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The techno/house sounds in my kuya's car that I dont even know the names. HAHA. Sorry, I'm not really into that whole party music scene.

27. What did you want and get?
To find contentment in things I dont even like doing.

28. What did you want and not get?
The staffer post for REB.

29. Favorite film of the year?
Cinderella Man! Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire! Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 15 and went to Eastwood with my friends, then off to Tagaytay for the weekend.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Trust, definitely.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Very laid back. My flipflops go with everything I wear. Though right now, I'm more into gold and black. Haha.

33. What kept you sane?
Chatting, Phone fests with my BFFs, dancing, tinkering with Stacy, shopping.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Daniel Radcliffe. Hands down.

35. Who is real-person crush?
Uuhhh. I cant tell. Haha! He already knows, though. I think.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Gloriagate tape.

37. Who did you miss?
My best friend Celine. My biatch, Dyvi.

38. Who was the best person you've met?
Ivy and Agpoon, all my friends from CMLI 2k5.

39. Tell us a valuable lesson you learn in 2005.
a. Everything happens for a reason.
b. No worries.
c. Everything is possible if you believe.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Life is one big road with lots of signs
So when you're riding thru the ruts
Don't complicate your mind
Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy
Dont bury your thoughts
Put your vision into reality, Yeah!
All together now
Wake up and Live.."
-Wake up and Live by Bob Marley.

That's all everyone! Happy New Year! =p

2005-12-23T15:55:00.000+07:00

What you see,

What you hear,

What you feel,

When you leave,

Leave it here.

That's what they said to us when we were being screened.

I'm not allowed to say what really happened at the screening.

I'm just going to say two things:

I didnt get in.

I feel devastated.

That must be the understatement of the year.

But God was nice to me that night. He made up for my disappointment with something better.

After a storm, a rainbow comes out.

A BRIGHT and COLORFUL rainbow. :)

2005-12-20T20:03:00.000+07:00

I just realized this morning that it's my Christmas break.

WOOOHOOOO!!! I LOVE YOU GOD!!

Then after 5 minutes of celebrating, I got bored.

So I made a list of what I intend to do for two weeks:

clean my room
do my projects and assignments
go to Cebu and survive the flight. I'm leaving on my own. Ohmaygad.
get a tan
finish my shopping list
catch up on my reading list
spend time with my friends (whom I havent seen for a long time)
get fat
learn how to cook
bake again

What do you think? Will I be able to accomplish all of this? I hope so. :)

***

Audrey just called. There will be a screening tomorrow for REB staffers. Yay! Hahaha.

I so wanted to get in.

But first, I will have to ask permission to my dad.

***

I did it. My dad doesnt want me to join.

It's all because the screening will be for 12 hours. It will start at 9 am up to 9 pm.

Normally this is not a big deal but tomorrow is my dad's company's Christmas party. Since it's a family business, we all have to be there.

I put on my puppy face and pleaded my dad. He wouldnt budge.

Oh shit. This is one of the things I really wanted and a stupid curfew is keeping me from going for it.

After much cajoling and little crying (heck, I didnt notice it!), my dad finally gave in!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going tomorrow!! I'm going tomorrow!!

*shakes butt off*

2005-12-19T20:06:00.000+07:00

MY LIFE THIS PAST WEEK

Tuesday the 13th
Practiced for the upcoming activities.
Got asked to represent my class in the Impromptu Speech-Filipino, which is weird because I'm bulol with Tagalog words. Hahaha! I was going to decline but needed to raise my Filipino grade so I relunctantly agreed.
Got my confiscated phone! Yeah baby!
Went to Galle with Bea and Joyce. Scored some really good finds. I'm loving my new gold thongs. :D

Wednesday the 14th - HELL DAY
Went to school early to choreograph our (Jezz and I) dance. But Jezz was late (TOO late. Haha! i love you Jezz!) so we put that on hold until break.
Parade for the opening of the fair.
Got ready for the Academic Showdown.
I forgot my speech! HAHA! I was facing the audience and realized that it was a huge crowd and for a second I spaced out and forgot what I was going to say. I ended up saying thanks after saying one-third of my original speech. HAHAHA!
I got the monthlies. Deym.
Choreographed our interpretative dance. It was HARD. And we only got a few hours before the actual performance. Didnt get to eat the whole day.
Did the dance. Haha. It was funny. We forgot some of the steps. Wahaha!
HAD THE MOST EMBARRASSING EXPERIENCE OF MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!! Nuff said.

Thursday the 15th - JUNIORS RULE!
Finished the dance for the dance match.
Practiced for hours before the competition.
Won Best in Costume. Yeah! Hahaha.
Macy won the Solo Singing Contest! I love you Macy!!
Watched the Band Fest. It was unbelievable.
STAGECROWD WON!!! They got all the awards except for 3. Haha!
LSS on their composition. "And I will sing every song of beauty and thank the old music that inspired me to sing..."
Got my sim! Text me people! My line's been activated! I love you Globe!

Friday the 16th
Fair! Fair! Fair!
After 5 minutes, I got really bored.
Officially realized the fair was depressing.
Roamed around the campus. Bought stuff at the tiangges. Cam-whored with my friends.
Got free trips at the rides. Hahaha!
Food trip at the canteen!
Made takas and went to Bea's house.
Met Joseph at Ministop. Got teased by his friends. Tss.
Went to Ababu (I wasn't hungry with all the food that I stuffed at my face.)
Went to Gateway with Joseph.
Watched Just like Heaven for the second time. It still made me smile. Awwww. :)
Walked around the mall. Goofed off.
Somehow got around the Fiesta Carnival thing. Rode the Anchors Away-like ride. Haha.
Sige na, takot na ko sa heights. HAHA!
Met with the girls as they were there too. Got teased by them. Tss.
BEA HAD AN "ACCIDENT". Nuff said. Again.
Arrived home very very late.

Saturday the 17th
Woke up late.
Developed a "sprain" and "my past operation swelled".
Went to school for attendance and to watch the field demo. I missed it.
Got reprimanded for not dancing. I said I was hurt. Got excused.
Cleaned the classroom to ease my guilty conscience.
Hung out with the girls around the school.
Hung out with Marga and her friends when Joyce and Bea were nowhere to be seen.
Got reprimanded again for not helping clean the classroom. WTF??
Got angry and moody.
Went to the waiting area to cool down.
Listen to Bob Marley.
Talked with everyone I know.
Laughed with my friends.
Convinced Bea to watch the Liturgical Concert.
Went to Mcdo to grab a bite.
Met Lorenzo at school and gave him his ticket. Btw, he's Joyce's guest, not mine.
Watched the Liturgical Concert. It was great in a solemn kind of way.
IT WAS JOYCE'S TURN TO HAVE A "MOMENT". I'll keep quiet.
Slept early.

Sunday the 18th
Woke up late.
Got ready for the Christmas Party. Didnt get to attend it because there was no driver around.
Had an argument with my mom.
Cried because of the argument and my absence at the party.
Locked myself in my room and watched TV.
Talked to the girls and arranged to meet with them.
Joyce arrived and made kwento about stuff.
Bea arrived and planned what to do that night.
Rested a bit and hung out in my room.
Prepared for the SHS concert.
Went to Mass. Saw my old schoolmates at CMM and remembered that their show was today. Deym.
Went to SHS.
Watched the concert! Yeah!!
Love the competing bands, especially the reggae/jazz band from La Salle.
CRUSH KO NA ULIT SI CHAMP AT YAEL!! That night nga lang. HAHA
Sleepover at my place. Joyce was feeling ill so we let her sleep early.
Bea and I goofed off for a bit and were talking when I realized she was also asleep. Haha.
Stared at the ceiling thinking about things, until I drifted off without realizing it.

Monday the 19th
Woke up at 5 am and saw Joseph's text. I quickly replied an apology for falling asleep.
Slept again as I remembered I dont have class anymore.
Woke up at 8. Watched TV and waited for the girls to wake up.
Joyce is offically sick. Bea and I acted like candy strippers at hospitals.
Watched movies-turned-tv shows.
Ate a lot of chocolate.
Dropped them off in the afternoon.
Arranged my flight for Cebu with my dad's secretary.
Phone fest.
Talked to my old friends at my old school. I miss them like crazy.
Talked to my two bestfriends, Celine and Dyvi. I feel soo great just talking to them.

Will asked my dad if I can go to Galle with Bea tomorrow. Hope he agrees. Haha.

the GBU

2005-12-12T18:46:00.000+07:00

The good: Opening of rides!
The bad: Each ride costs 25 bucks.
The ugly: No more money. :c

The good: Goofing off with Ivy and Agpoon.
The bad: Getting really sweaty and dirty, and it was still morning!
The ugly: Staying icky until dismissal.

The good: Trying out the slide!!
The bad: We werent alone.
The ugly: I was in a middle of a ballfight.

The good: Sharing secrets with Ivy and Agpoon.
The bad: Gossiping.
The ugly: Dirty secrets were spilled.

The good: Sharing kilig moments with Ivy and Agpoon.
The bad: Remembering some bad beans guys.
The ugly: Bringing back the memories of insistent suitors. Shudder.

The good: Riding the ferris wheel with Bea.
The bad: She kept swinging the cart back and forth.
The ugly: I got nauseous and pale.

The good: Getting to ride at the ferris wheel without having to wait.
The bad: Some people shouted "Ang daya naman!"
The ugly: More people kept giving us mean looks.

The good: Eating ice cream!
The bad: That was what I mostly ate the whole day.
The ugly: I was hungry.

The good: Eating Yum! hamburger.
The bad: It was some first year student's baon.
The ugly: We didnt even ask permission. Hehehe.

The good: Deadline of articles for the first issue tomorrow.
The bad: I still havent done anything.
The ugly: I have to sleep late for this.

The good: Practice for the field demo.
The bad: I still havent memorize the steps.
The ugly: With those I memorized, I forgot. Haha!

The good: I was asked to perform an intermission number with Jezz.
The bad: We still dont have a dance and it's just going to be the two of us.
The ugly: This is for Wednesday.

The good: We finished the three songs for the dance match.
The bad: Rita quit.
The ugly: I also wanted to quit.

The good: Paolo and I had a sincere talk and I apologized.
The bad: Whenever I looked into his face I remember another guy.
The ugly: I still feel guilty for hurting him.

The good: The driver treated me out in Mcdo.
The bad: Greasy Quarter Pounder.
The ugly: I'm still hungry.

The good: I'm keeping myself busy. (this is good because I'm getting lazy again.)
The bad: I'm keeping myself TOO busy.
The ugly: I'm swamped with work and I dont know what to do first.

The good: Going out tomorrow with Bea.
The bad: I'm broke.
The ugly: What will I do??

my new layout

2005-12-11T20:42:00.000+07:00

ALERT!!!!! NEW LAYOUT!!!!!

Hahaha. What do you think people? Is it nice? Wahehehe!!

This will stay until I get bored with the layout.

Oh yeah, this is based on the lyrics of I Caught Fire (in your eyes) by the Used.

I'll get rid of the "Just stay with me" header and the other cheesy stuff. It is sooo not me. Haha.

At the moment. Wahahaha.

Ok, stop. I'm boring myself to tears.

christmas list

2005-12-11T16:49:00.000+07:00

Wooo. It's almost Christmas! My favorite time of the year! Woohooo!!

Although this year there may be...

What the heck. I wont spoil my mood! Hahaha!! Christmas I LAF YOU!!

Syempre this means my Christmas list!! Wooooo.

1. Laptop or computer. Basta I want my own. I still havent thought of a good model but I dont care. I just want one. Kahit bulok ayos lang sakin. Anyway, I'm going to ask for a new one when I graduate from highschool. Wahaha!!

2. My own mannequin. It will be like having a doll again, except this time it's about my height, my size and my build. Oh diba? Ang laki ng Barbie ko. Wahehehe.

3. Accessories for my Creative Zen Micro. That includes new earphones, speakers, a new remote control (I still have this, but I want a new one. Haha.) and a new stand.

4. Parts of Stacy. Huhu. Sadly I still dont have enough money to get her fixed. Boo. I need a new tailpiece, new strings, new bow, new shoulder rest and rosin.

5. CDs of the following:
-Bob Marley
-Beachboys
-Sublime
-Urbandub
-Bo Bice (He has a CD already. Hahaha)

6. Books! Wheee. Buy me what you think I like. Haha. I would really appreciate it. Woo.

7. Treat me out for dinner and a movie. I just want an afternoon (or night) of laughter. =p

8. Board games! Then we'll play straight away. Hahaha.

9. 10 pounds of chocolate. I would gladly share it with you. :)

10. Things I told you before that would make me happy. Wahaha. If you get me one I would worship you forever. Wahaha!

C'mon! Be a Santa and share your kindness to me! Hahaha!

2005-12-10T23:08:00.000+07:00

Fair next week.

The past 2 years, the fair was dull with capital D. I hope it will improve this year. *crosses fingers*

No concert again, I'm afraid. Tsk tsk.

Wait, meron pala. Liturgical concert. How senseless is that??????

I'm leading my classmates in the field demonstration. Which means I'm the one who teaches them the steps, makes sure they fall in line, shouts at the top of my voice to keep them quiet, oversees if they are doing the steps right and counting 8's.

Bloody hell.

And yeah, I'm also included in the Dance match this year, together with Trisha, Rita and Erika. The theme is retro (na naman?!) and we have to dance retro or ballroom.

Double bloody hell.

I'm never going to show my face to the public again.

Oh well, party mode naman sa weekend. Hahaha.

2005-12-07T21:35:00.000+07:00

I shouldnt be thinking about this now.

But I feel this dark endless pit inside of me. I feel so restless.

I feel like crying. I think I made a huge mistake.

Not because I did that to Paolo. But because I thought that maybe that other someone that I was talking about knew how I felt and feels the same.

But noooo. He just doesnt get it.

Last week I made up my mind that I will finally tell him.

I guess it wont happen in this lifetime.

Because he doesnt like me. I'm so sure of it.

fun weekend

2005-12-05T07:17:00.000+07:00

I'll just make this quick.

Last Friday we finished the classroom exhibit. It was fun. Hahaha. =p

Bonding time with Ivy! Went to Gateway to watch Harry Potter 4. Twas nice. Haha. Ate a lot of popcorn. Yum.

Commuting was the best. Wahaha! *sige na mababaw na*

I learned how to commute all by myself! Whee. Hahaha.

Saw Bea and Joyce in Gateway. Buti nalang. I thought they changed their minds and went to Eastwood. Whew. And mind you, it was already 8. If I didnt find them in Gateway I was going to go to Eastwood next to search for them. Poor me. Haha.

Saw Vince and LA with their friends. Uy! CMLI days! Haha.

Watched Just like Heaven. Laughtrip. =p

Ate ice cream. Yum!

Stopped by at Sandy's to check things out. Got bored so we went home. Haha.

Sleepover at my place.

Last Saturday we woke up early to prepare for Tagaytay.

We left the key for our house but that's okay. Spent the day in the clubhouse.

Went swimming. Yeah. =p

Got a tan. I love it! Haha.

Bonding time with the girls.

Talks and secrets.

Being goofballs and having a lot of bloopers. =p

Dancing. :)

Went to the biking/horses place. Rented a bike.

Screamed at the top of my lungs.

Acting like kids. Hahaha.

Went home tired but happy. :)

Sunday was rest day.

Reading a good book. Sweet.

Lounging in my room.

Listening to some tunes.

Idle TV.

Sleeping. :)

FOOD!!

*I miss weekends like this. Before, every week was like this one but it all changed since I got tagged along for the pep and the practices for the CMLI. I hope but next year everything will be back to normal. Haha. I really miss fun weekends.*

2005-12-01T21:32:00.000+07:00

The exhibit for the alumni homecoming will start its rounds tomorrow.
I'm nervous for our classroom. Our decorations are not yet finished. And we had to take down some because the other section copied our design. [No offense]
But I have to say, our classroom looks good even with the lack of decor.
Our chairs are arranged in a square form and we all have our class profiles in our chairs, which we designed ourselves. The top 11 are seated together with the medal ribbons and we have the "Gallery of 3-Galilee" in the middle. The budding artists all have their works displayed and the musicians are bringing their instruments tomorrow.
I'm bringing Stacy, my violin.
It just sucks because I just found out this afternoon that Stacy not only needs a new shoulder rest, she also needs a new tailpiece.
After 3 months of gathering dust under my coffee table, Stacy is seeing daylight again. But she's injured and not suitable for performances.
Her operation might take a while. I still dont have the funds to fix her.
Poor Stacy.
Poor me.

2005-11-30T20:14:00.000+07:00

I don't get it. Why do some people like to control others? I so freaking don't get it!!!
It's not anyone's business with what I'm doing with my life right now. I know what I'm getting myself into. I'm not stupid. I've thought this long and hard.
Leave me alone. You really don't understand me. Why are you so demanding??

after the exams

2005-11-27T21:30:00.000+07:00

Finally exams are over. I can breathe freely now.

I hate GEOMETRY!! And TRIGONOMETRY!!!

That, my friends comes from someone who eats and lives in numbers.

The exam was so hard. And I actually have sooo many blanks in my papers. That's like a first in all my math exams. I never leave blanks. I dont know why the exam was freaking hard. I really studied hard. Okay, crammed but it's still studying.

I never knew my aptitude for numbers could fail me. I always thought it was one thing I could totally depend on. Math is my life. Solving equations and doodling numbers on papers is something I consider a great treat. I may sound like a geek but I dont care. Math is my everything.

I actually think that getting a 95 in my card grade will prove that I'm smart on Math. I guess not. I just got extremely lucky. Expect my card grade to lose 10 points. I'm soo dumb.

Sayang, I'm seriously considering to take up Statistics or any Math-related courses in college. I'll just have to forget my dream then.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I watched the Exorcism of Emily Rose twice this weekend. First last Friday with Ivy and second yesterday, with Joyce, Bea, Paolo and Lawrence. The movie was great for the first time, when you're not really expecting something. The second time? It totally bored me.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

People have been saying I seem down, I looked depressed, I havent been eating, I'm getting too thin, blah blah blah.

I don't know what's happening to me this days. I'm feeling really confused.

I dont feel right. I hate this.

I just want to run away and leave everything behind.

I want to be left alone.

laziness, hatred and obsession

2005-11-22T16:06:00.000+07:00

It's 1:06 in the morning.

I cant go back to sleep. Argh. Might as well start with what I'm supposed to do.

Studying for my exam tomorrow. Or later.

Later na yun. I'm feeling tamad. Hahaha.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

I'm not supposed to be using the computer. Not because it was already late, but because I'm grounded.

Yes, grounded.

By my sister.

And because of something totally false.

She accused me of having a boyfriend. AGAIN.

The last time it's true. But not this time. I'm totally guilt-free.

Just because Paolo's been calling nonstop since we met, texting me when we're not talking on the phone, meeting at every chance, and bringing him here to meet my folks means he is my boyfriend.

Okay, okay. He's courting me. But I'm not his girlfriend. Yet.

But nooooooo. My sister has to reprimand me, took my phone away and gave me the third degree. Life is sooo unfair.

I hate this.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Speaking of Paolo, everyone is getting on my case about him. They're asking me if I said yes already, if he already proposed, blah blah blah. Not just in my school but in his' also. Deym deym deym. Issue na naman. Yoko talaga nyan.

I really like Paolo but I dont think I'm emotionally ready to have another relationship. Not because of my recent ex [please, that was a year ago] but with what's happening to us. I'm getting overwhelmed with the situation. I dont know if I'm just flattered that he's giving me the attention, or if he's genuine. I know I'm flattered. Who wouldnt? Paolo is a certified HT in our school. And that's an understatement. And he's soo sweet, so nice, so understanding. He's very down to earth yet manly. Any girl wont be able to resist his smile.

I know I like him. I'm always "Paolo said this.." or "Paolo is..." or "I remember Paolo when..." and soo on. I'm always talking about him to my friends. I want to see him everyday. I always want to talk to him. And I have this "feeling". Basta feeling yun. I'm not sure what.

But whenever I think about Paolo, another face flashes into my mind. Yep, him. I dont know why I cant get over him. I often tell myself these days that I should forget about him and focus on Paolo instead. But I cant seem to do it. I wonder what he's doing now. We havent talked na in ages and I'm dying to hear his voice and see him.

Do I sound boy-obsessed? I hope not. Right now, I'm just really confused.

senseless survey

2005-11-01T12:35:00.000+07:00

1.what do your friends call you?
--kaye, kathlyn, lums, nadia, kaa, kat-ing-ka

2. is your bestfriend a girl?
--yeah

3. do you wear make-up?
--yeah. if i really have to. but on normal days, not really. just lip balm and some concealer.

4. do you wear shoes with high heels?
--yeah

5. do you like wearing dresses?
--im more of a skirt person.

6. do you have short or long hair?
--long. i think.

7. one length or layered?
--layered

8. how long does it take you to fix yourself up?
--not too long, except maybe if im feeling really really vain. i could stay in my room for 2 hours. hahaha.

9. do you have a "kikay" kit?
--yeah. but i rarely use it.

10. if yes, what's inside?
--comb, mirror, hand sanitizer, tissue, lip balm, cheek tint, powder

11. how long do you take a bath?
--20-30 minutes?? i dont take a watch with me. im not that vain you know. haha

12. do you use conditioner?
--3 times a week.

13. how do you dry your hair?
--eeerr. i dunno. it dries by itself. haha

14. what's your usual hairstyle?
--i wear my hair down most of the time. since it's kinda long, i sometimes tie it to a ponytail or a messy bun.

15. do you panic if you have a pimple?
--no. why would i?

16. do you often go to the salon?
--not anymore.

17. when was the last time you went tothe salon?
--a few months ago

18. what did you do in the salon?
--went to get a haircut.

19. have you ever colored your hair?
--never will

20. relax? rebond? have you tried those?
--relax, which i regret.

21. do you paint your nails?
--nope

22. what's your usual get up?
--jeans and tank top/shirt. and my trusty flipflops. :)

23. rubber shoes or sandals?
--sandals.

24. how many piercings do you have?
--the usual one on both ears and in my navel.

25. do you go on a diet?
--nope. i love to eat!

27. do you have "rituals" before sleeping?
--like what??

28. do you put cucumber on your eyes?
--no. that's why i have my festerized eyes.

29. do you fix yourself anywhere?
--no. im tamad.

30. do you stay inside the washroom for along time?
--noooo. except when im with the vain club. hahaha

31. do you have lots of crushes and sharethem with friends?
--i have a lot of crushes but i dont share them with all of my friends.

32. do you blush whenever you see thatspecialperson?
--i dont know. maybe

33. what would you like in a grL?
--someone who isnt afraid to get dirty once in a while.

34. is it fun being a girl?
--yeah. haha. ano toh? kamiseta? haha

35. what do you feel answering this?
--nothing. im soo effing bored.

sorry for the post. im too bored. nyahaha.

will be posting more tomorrow. ciao!!

CMLI 2K5!!

2005-10-31T09:21:00.000+07:00

41 girls. 41 delegations. Laughing at the bus. Talks with Marianne at 2 am. Jollibee for breakfast for the arrival. Cold air in the morning. Cottage 4. Cottage 4-A. Guesthouse 5. Tour in Teacher's Village. Colorful jackets. Acquiantance Socials. Opening Ceremonies. Keana Reeves. CD sessions. CD 9 ü. Dance workshop. Making symbols out of trash. Playing games. Discussions. Talks. High-Faluting words. Boring speakers. Fooling with Jezz. Guffawing with Iza and Jilian. Crazy videos. vain moments. Ipod moments. Cup noodles sessions. Food trip. Talks with roommates at 1 am. Joking with Karla and Michelle. Getting close with Ate Ruby and Ate Ana. CMLI shirt. Sportsfest. Debate. TVS. Literary contests. Hotdogs and hot chocolate for breakfast. Cold water at night and early in the morning. Alarm clock. Borrowing clothes. Taking out the trash. Heating water. Topak moments with Check. LITMUS. Conversations with Paola. Talking to L.A. and Joseph. Workbooks. Calamansi Relay. Mistaken to be a college student. Mess hall. Manong photographer. Teased by Haron. Meeting L.A. Tuts. Texting during discussions. Chuga dance. "basta CMLI ka, lufet ka!" "people in the house, superb!". JC-NEB. JC-REB. Voting. Harana at nights. Angry Mr. Libo-on and Mrs. Babiera. Kilig moments with Jezz. Bonding with Comm mates. Ate JC. Kuya Caps ü. Paolo and Justin. Festerized eyes. Kaye's Sari-sari store. Happy Birthday Ate Lorraine. Daldonado, Katalyn. CMLI kit. Dirty Pop. Dancing. Checkered boy. Funny faces. Closing Ceremonies. Disco Socials. Dance floor. Talking to L.A. Tuts at 3 am. Walking under the stars. Running in stilletos. Goofball moments. The BUS! House of Wax. Sleeping in the bus. "tulad ng apoy na di masawata." =p

CMLI was the best. I love it.

Every minute was fun. It was an experience I would never forget.

Can't wait for next year!

20 Random Things

2005-10-30T03:50:00.000+07:00

20 Random Things about Moi:

1. I have incredibly dark eye bags. People can just take a good look at those and they’ll run screaming that I have a resemblance to Uncle Fester of the Addams Family.

2. I have what you call the HAHA syndrome. I always put hahas and hehes after my messages, texts, emails, IMs, you name it. I could have put one here, but I’m restraining myself so you would take this seriously.

3. I used to be somewhat good in Art. When I was young, my classmates would often ask me to draw them the pictures of their choice. The local newspaper even posted my drawings in their page. I don’t know what happened since.

4. I was one of those kids who took a lot of lessons: Piano, Ballet, Jazz, Hiphop, Violin, Swimming, Theater, Computer programming, Horseback riding, and Voice. Incidentally, I can’t swim without getting hingal kaagad for the first five minutes, I can’t force myself to burst out crying, I get confused with the jumble of computer jargon, I don’t have plans to be an equestrian, and I can’t sing to save my life.

5. But I can dance ballet, jazz and hiphop. And I can play the piano. And the violin. And a bit of drums. CAN, of course, is the operative word here.

6. I don’t have a single athletic bone in my body. I’m lampa. I’m piki. I have butter for my fingers and floor wax for my feet.

7. I love the rain. And the first time I walked in the rain was my 15th birthday. I felt so free, so refreshed. Just sensing the water dripping from my head down to my back sends chills to my whole body.

8. I love watching cartoons. This may seem childish to some, but I haven’t gotten over that phase. Never will, I hope. My idea of relaxing after a long day is locking myself in my room with oodles and oodles of food and tuning in to Nickleodeon.

9. I have a stud in my navel. This may be a known fact to some, but I still can’t believe I mustered the courage to get one.

10. I’m not an extrovert like some people think. Sure, I do make kwento about stuff but I don’t exactly share it to the whole world. I think a part of me will always be a bit apprehensive when it comes to trusting people.

11. I have terrible mood swings. Most of the time, my friends ignore me when I’m in my passive mode and wouldn’t budge or if I started ranting like I have unlimited ranting credits.

12. Mindlessly staring into space is what I do when I don’t have anything to do. My mind would wander and go to places at 500 miles per second. I often get strange looks for talking to myself and smiling without any reason to be.

13. I’ve been less superficial, less vain and less shallow in some aspects for the past year. I’ve matured quite a lot, except maybe when I’m with my friends during our topak sessions.

14. I love tasting exotic food. I don’t care if I get LBM afterwards. When I was in Grade 6, my best friends and I concocted this drink and food that was sooo strange and smelly we gagged and laughed while making it. And guess who ate and drank it? ;)

15. I never really believed it when people told me I’m beautiful. Except that time when I was wearing my ratty shirt and my puruntong shorts and looking really sabog.

16. I would give up 3 whole meals for a bar of Hershey’s Milk Chocolate with Almonds.

17. The weirdest book I have ever read was The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. It may be a New York bestseller, but what was that??????? It was awfully boring that I almost gagged myself with its pages.

18. I have no sense of direction. Leave me in a deserted place with a map and a compass and I could be lost for months.

19. I’m claustrophobic. I hate putting goggles when I’m swimming in a pool because it gave me a feeling of being trapped in the four corners. Once, I entered this hallway that was so narrow and small and I had a hard time breathing and couldn’t walk properly.

20. My current favorite combo is Mrs. Fields cookies + Swiss hot cocoa. :)